Building Trust (Tools for Personal Growth - a Life Skill)
What is trust? A short description
Trust is one of the most difficult things to build and acquire. And while it may take some time to break that trust
- if it is broken - it will take much, much longer to rebuild.
Truly, rebuilding trust a second time, after it has been broken is a monumental task - and takes a long time. This is mainly because in offering trust,
we make ourselves vulnerable - and once the vulnerability has been violated, we "play it much safer" the second time around.
People don't trust, or have trouble developing trust, if they have:
All of the above are essential components to Trust, and Building Trust.
In order to develop trust, people need to change some attitude, behaviour and conduct:
Much more on Trust and Trust Building is available in more detail in our Trust workshop).
Starting point for rebuilding trust. Ask yourself:
What is trust? A short description
- Trust is: letting others know your feelings, emotions and reactions, and having the confidence in them to respect you and to not take
advantage of you. - Trust is: the glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fulfill yourself.
- Trust is: opening yourself up (self-disclosure) to let others in on your background, problems, concerns, and mistakes with the assurance
that they will not ostracize you because of these things. - Trust is: the act of placing yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, open, and honest way.
Trust is one of the most difficult things to build and acquire. And while it may take some time to break that trust
- if it is broken - it will take much, much longer to rebuild.
Truly, rebuilding trust a second time, after it has been broken is a monumental task - and takes a long time. This is mainly because in offering trust,
we make ourselves vulnerable - and once the vulnerability has been violated, we "play it much safer" the second time around.
People don't trust, or have trouble developing trust, if they have:
- Experienced a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse and/or neglect.
- Been emotionally hurt in the past and are not willing to risk getting hurt in the future.
All of the above are essential components to Trust, and Building Trust.
In order to develop trust, people need to change some attitude, behaviour and conduct:
- One of the first steps is to stop always looking for, and assuming there are, "hidden agendas and motives" on everyone else's part - that
simply isn't so. That means to stop being suspicious all the time, of everyone - that simply isn't fair - and makes it difficult, if not
impossible for you to learn trust, and others to actually "see" you as an authentic, fair-minded person.
Much more on Trust and Trust Building is available in more detail in our Trust workshop).
Starting point for rebuilding trust. Ask yourself:
- Why do I lack trust in the persons, groups, or institutions listed above?
- What beliefs do I hold that are behind my lack of trust in the persons, groups, or institutions listed in above?
- Why can't I refute my Irrational Belief and replace with a positive one?
- Why can't I affirm new personal beliefs?
- What does my experience tell me about changes I need to make to develop my ability to trust?
- What are the remaining blocks to developing my sense of trust?
- What am I willing to do to continue developing my sense of trust?
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Short Beach, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada
2000-2008
Also:
Read "Trust Begins With You" article (rtf format - click HERE)
And "Trust Issues in Relationships" (rtf format - click HERE)
And "Rules For Being Human"
Also available: Coaching/Counselling (Distance Counselling Works!) see Contact-Info for details: also a Trust-Building Workshop
Dawn Cove Abbey
Short Beach, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada
2000-2008
Also:
Read "Trust Begins With You" article (rtf format - click HERE)
And "Trust Issues in Relationships" (rtf format - click HERE)
And "Rules For Being Human"
Also available: Coaching/Counselling (Distance Counselling Works!) see Contact-Info for details: also a Trust-Building Workshop
Building Trust: Trust and Trusting
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