WHAT IS DIALOGUE?
Good communication skills: A better approach
When you realize the difference between good communication skills
and the "good for nothing communication skills",
it will be easier for you to become a good communicator.
Since we are born with superb inbuilt tools for communication,
we often think we are born with good communication skills too.
- just because we have been doing it all our life!
It is true that from childhood you have been given verbal
and non-verbal inexplicit instructions on how to behave and talk to people.
We have been taught to speak to people rather than speak with them
For example, while we are talking to others,
seldom do we stop and ask ourselves
“what is it that I am trying to communicate”?
There is no definite goal for most of our conversations.
From the childhood, we are taught that those who can talk faster
are usually sharper than others.
(Good communication skills?)
Whenever you are expressing a thought to someone,
it is a good idea if you have an overall picture of,
“what is it that you are trying to convey”?
If you have picture or a sound in mind that you want to convey,
it will be much easier to achieve your goal.
To start practicing good communication skills,
start using this principle today!
Remember, it is not just the words that do the job;
it's a lot of other “people” things too!
~anon
DIALOGUE: Dialogue is a special kind of discourse employing distinctive skills
to achieve mutual understanding and mutual trust and respect.
Dialogue allows people to connect at a deeper level.
Participants in dialogue report that the experience of dialogue yields specific benefits and results.
Dialogue:
- Dispels mistrust and creates a climate of good faith
- Breaks through negative stereotypes, revealing participants' common humanity
- Shifts the focus from transactions to relationships, creating community
- Makes participants more sympathetic to one another even when they disagree
- Prepares the ground for negotiation or decision-making on emotion-laden issues
- Helps bridge subcultures and clarify value conflicts
- Expands the number of people committed to the process
- Brings out the best rather than the worst in people
To explain dialogue we like to contrast it with debate, a more common form of discourse.
The goal of debate is winning; the goal of dialogue is learning.
(Debates are similar to arguments – except arguments want to blame and hurt as well as win.)
Especially when trying to resolve issues or problems, communication without dialogue usually ends up being talk, talk,
talk.
Nothing gets resolved, there is no forward movement.
It is “talked to death”; a lot of words, and nothing having been “said”.
We need dialogue – not diatribe (a bitter verbal or written attack on somebody or something).
Effective communication is the key to get you to where you want to be in your life. Communication is an essential skill
for successful relationships of all kinds, personal and other.
‘Man is not an island’ - communication has the power to destroy, or build relationships.
Communication has an impact whenever it occurs - we can use communication to influence every interaction in a
positive way, by developing the skills needed to communicate effectively.
The ability to connect and build rapport with other people is a foundation life skill, and should ideally, be actively
developed from an early age. It is a learned skill, and can be learned and used at any age.
Dawn Cove Abbey is dedicated to help people grow, learn and develop in all dimensions: academically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.
You will find help: guidance and counselling.
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada 2006-2008
There are many good resources here (including a Glossary of concepts) and on the web for you to explore concepts such as “culture”,
“socialization”, “enculturation” and many other related ones – all part of your “education”.
Only the Wounded Heal; Only the Separated Reconcile
Helping People make sense of chaotic
lives: healing & recovery
Empowerment: Counselling - Life Coaching,
Seminars, Workshops & Retreats
When life hurts - there is immediate help for long term hope
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Dawn Cove Abbey Empowerment Outreach - New Beginning Online Information Resources, and other supports for Individuals, Couples and Families LIFE COUNSELLING / COACHING / COUNSELING and CONSULTING: HEALING YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD
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DIALOGUE IS ABOUT LEARNING:
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Assuming that others have pieces of the answer
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Assuming that there is one right answer – and you have it
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Collaborative: attempting to find common understanding
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Combative: attempting to prove the other side wrong
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About finding common ground
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Listening to understand and find a basis for agreement
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Listening to find flaws and make counter-arguments
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Bringing up your assumptions for inspection and discussion
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Defending your assumptions
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Re-examining all points of view
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Criticizing the other side's point of view
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Admitting that others' thinking can improve your own
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Defending your views against others
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Searching for strengths and value in the other position
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Searching for weaknesses and flaws in the other position
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Discovering new possibilities and opportunities
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Seeking an outcome that agrees with your position
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~Viewpoint Learning, Inc.
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” ~Anthony Robbins
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