On this page you will see how Healthy/Functional versus
Sick (Dysfunctional/Unhealthy) Relationships form a
stark contrast, as well as the 5 myths of relationships.
Note: the following, please bear in mind is a
culturally-based description and comparison.
This is an important consideration, because what is
considered "good", "bad", desirable and acceptable
varies widely across cultures and communities For more
detail on that, read Culture.
Sick (Dysfunctional/Unhealthy) Relationships form a
stark contrast, as well as the 5 myths of relationships.
Note: the following, please bear in mind is a
culturally-based description and comparison.
This is an important consideration, because what is
considered "good", "bad", desirable and acceptable
varies widely across cultures and communities For more
detail on that, read Culture.
| Comparing some characteristics of Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships/Love |
There are many other points to compare - these are just a sample.
For more detail and understanding, read some of the material
suggested above, and also see the Counselling and Seminars pages.
Five Myths that kill relationships.
For more detail and understanding, read some of the material
suggested above, and also see the Counselling and Seminars pages.
Five Myths that kill relationships.
- Love is enough: it isn't.
- There is nothing to learn: there is a lot to learn.
- If you love me, you'll _____: wrong.
- My partner/mate will change: says who?
- I'll do my half: wrong - each has to do 100%
There is a tremendous difference between Healthy versus Sick (Unhealthy) Love/Relationships.
You may also have noticed that the components of a Healthy Love relationships are far fewer -
because healthy is easier - than those in Sick/Unhealthy Love relationships situations.
Dealing with Power Games:
In a sick/unhealthy relationship, power games are not easily given up.
Remember, dealing with an unhealthy relationship can be difficult,
frightening, confusing, and even unsafe.
Get someone you trust to help you.
This can be a good friend, a support group, a family member, a pastor,
or a professional counsellor or therapist.
You do not have to go it alone!
And the goal - mutual respect in a healthy relationship - is worth your acting now.
Unfolding your human potential!
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada - 1995 (Rev: 2009)
You may also have noticed that the components of a Healthy Love relationships are far fewer -
because healthy is easier - than those in Sick/Unhealthy Love relationships situations.
Dealing with Power Games:
In a sick/unhealthy relationship, power games are not easily given up.
- Acknowledge that power games are real.
- Get help to disentangle if you cannot do it on your own, or by yourself.
Remember, dealing with an unhealthy relationship can be difficult,
frightening, confusing, and even unsafe.
Get someone you trust to help you.
This can be a good friend, a support group, a family member, a pastor,
or a professional counsellor or therapist.
You do not have to go it alone!
And the goal - mutual respect in a healthy relationship - is worth your acting now.
Unfolding your human potential!
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada - 1995 (Rev: 2009)
| Healthy and Sick Dysfunctional Relationships - a Comparison |
The Difference Between Healthy/Functional Relationships and Unhealthy/Dysfunctional (Sick) Relationships
Many relationships are not very caring or loving on a consistent
basis.
All relationships happen in a context of other people (within the
relationship there is always the "other" - but there are also
familial influences as well as community ones.
You may know someone whose relationship(s) are obsessive,
excessive, destructive, dangerous, compulsive, habitual,
unhealthily attached, or dependent or codependent - also see
Denial-Enabling.
One common feature in sick, unhealthy relationships is the use of
"Power Games." The word power can be used in many ways. Power
games are manipulative behaviours that keep two people in a
relationship on an unequal basis.
The power games in sick and unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships
- families can be subtle or blatantly "in your face": power trips
destroy!
Whichever way they appear, basically one person in the
relationship believes he or she must maintain control in the
relationship. The person who believes this also feels the way to be
in control is to have power over that relationship.
People who buy into using power games to control a relationship
often attempt, or engage in, controlling behaviours.
They are listed below.
basis.
All relationships happen in a context of other people (within the
relationship there is always the "other" - but there are also
familial influences as well as community ones.
You may know someone whose relationship(s) are obsessive,
excessive, destructive, dangerous, compulsive, habitual,
unhealthily attached, or dependent or codependent - also see
Denial-Enabling.
One common feature in sick, unhealthy relationships is the use of
"Power Games." The word power can be used in many ways. Power
games are manipulative behaviours that keep two people in a
relationship on an unequal basis.
The power games in sick and unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships
- families can be subtle or blatantly "in your face": power trips
destroy!
Whichever way they appear, basically one person in the
relationship believes he or she must maintain control in the
relationship. The person who believes this also feels the way to be
in control is to have power over that relationship.
People who buy into using power games to control a relationship
often attempt, or engage in, controlling behaviours.
They are listed below.
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a Dawn Cove Abbey Resource
Healing
outreach
around
the world
outreach
around
the world
It takes TWO people to make a relationship work
If one "knows" how and tries - and the other doesn't it will fail
We help people heal their Relationships
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION
Let us help you find long-term resolution for your problems - and
assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing.
If your Relationship needs healing - we can help
Email, call or write - Today!
If one "knows" how and tries - and the other doesn't it will fail
We help people heal their Relationships
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION
Let us help you find long-term resolution for your problems - and
assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing.
If your Relationship needs healing - we can help
Email, call or write - Today!
Healthy Love/Relationships:
|
Unhealthy Love/Relationships:
|
To round it all out, Dawn Cove Abbey provides personal guidance for growth,
healing and empowerment through personal life coaching/counselling, as well
as the many information files that exist on this website - the information is
free and available to all.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings
awakening and healing to you.
healing and empowerment through personal life coaching/counselling, as well
as the many information files that exist on this website - the information is
free and available to all.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings
awakening and healing to you.
| A Holistic Centre for Emotional, Spiritual and Mental Re-integration and Healing COUNSELING: LIFE COACHING and CONSULTING Online Distance and Tele-Counseling 24/7 Because life's crisis and upsets don't always happen at convenient times HEALING YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD Specializing in helping Adult Children of Alcoholic/Dysfunctional Families ____________________________________________________ Call or write today to start your healing |
| Follow-up and Support Counseling to Seminars & Workshops Dawn Cove Abbey Empowerment Outreach is a registered (not for profit) business in the province of Nova Scotia, Canada |
| | | | | |
Do you have a question about Relationships or related
topics? Email without obligation about help.
If you are wondering about your own or someone
else's relationship, take a look at the following
comparisons:
Good, healthy, functional relationships/marriages and
families do not just "happen" on their own.
The people involved make them happen.
And the way they make them happen is by doing
certain things differently than many others around
them. Also see Love, Infatuation, Obsession etc)
They believe in, and practice, love, consideration,
kindness and empathy.
topics? Email without obligation about help.
If you are wondering about your own or someone
else's relationship, take a look at the following
comparisons:
Good, healthy, functional relationships/marriages and
families do not just "happen" on their own.
The people involved make them happen.
And the way they make them happen is by doing
certain things differently than many others around
them. Also see Love, Infatuation, Obsession etc)
They believe in, and practice, love, consideration,
kindness and empathy.
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| Dysfunctional Family / Life Effects: Resources |
| Adult Child - Survivor Resource Section |
| Healthy-Functional Resource Section |
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| Suggested Additional Reading |
| Dawn Cove Abbey Information and Support Resources |
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| People who really want to heal, will find a way; those who don't will find an excuse. |