On this page you will see how Healthy/Functional versus
Sick (Dysfunctional/Unhealthy) Relationships form a
stark contrast, as well as the 5 myths of relationships.
Note: please bear in mind that the following is a
culturally-based description and comparison.
This is an important consideration, because what is
considered "good", "bad", desirable and acceptable
varies widely across cultures and communities For more
detail on that, read Culture.
Sick (Dysfunctional/Unhealthy) Relationships form a
stark contrast, as well as the 5 myths of relationships.
Note: please bear in mind that the following is a
culturally-based description and comparison.
This is an important consideration, because what is
considered "good", "bad", desirable and acceptable
varies widely across cultures and communities For more
detail on that, read Culture.
| Comparing some characteristics of Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships/Love |
There are many other points to compare - these are just a sample.
For more detail and understanding, read some of the material
suggested above, and also see the Counselling and Seminars pages.
Five Myths that kill relationships.
For more detail and understanding, read some of the material
suggested above, and also see the Counselling and Seminars pages.
Five Myths that kill relationships.
- Love is enough: it isn't.
- There is nothing to learn: there is a lot to learn.
- If you love me, you'll _____: wrong.
- My partner/mate will change: says who?
- I'll do my half: wrong - each has to do 100%
There is a tremendous difference between Healthy versus Sick (Unhealthy) Love/Relationships.
You may also have noticed that the components of a Healthy Love relationships are far fewer -
because healthy is easier - than those in Sick/Unhealthy Love relationships situations.
Dealing with Power Games:
In a sick/unhealthy relationship, power games are not easily given up.
Remember, dealing with an unhealthy relationship can be difficult,
frightening, confusing, and even unsafe.
Get someone you trust to help you.
This can be a good friend, a support group, a family member, a pastor,
or a professional counsellor or therapist.
You do not have to go it alone!
And the goal - mutual respect in a healthy relationship - is worth your acting now.
Unfolding your human potential!
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada - 1995 (Rev: 2009)
You may also have noticed that the components of a Healthy Love relationships are far fewer -
because healthy is easier - than those in Sick/Unhealthy Love relationships situations.
Dealing with Power Games:
In a sick/unhealthy relationship, power games are not easily given up.
- Acknowledge that power games are real.
- Get help to disentangle if you cannot do it on your own, or by yourself.
Remember, dealing with an unhealthy relationship can be difficult,
frightening, confusing, and even unsafe.
Get someone you trust to help you.
This can be a good friend, a support group, a family member, a pastor,
or a professional counsellor or therapist.
You do not have to go it alone!
And the goal - mutual respect in a healthy relationship - is worth your acting now.
Unfolding your human potential!
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada - 1995 (Rev: 2009)
| Healthy and Sick Dysfunctional Relationships - a Comparison |
The Difference Between Healthy/Functional Relationships and Unhealthy/Dysfunctional (Sick) Relationships
Many relationships are not very caring or loving on a consistent basis.
All relationships happen in a context of other people (within the
relationship there is always the "other" - but there are also familial
influences as well as community ones.
All relationships happen in a context of other people (within the
relationship there is always the "other" - but there are also familial
influences as well as community ones.
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Healing
outreach
around
the world
outreach
around
the world
It takes TWO people to make a relationship work
If one "knows" how and tries - and the other doesn't it will fail
We help people heal their Relationships
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION
Let us help you find long-term resolution for your problems - and
assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing.
If your Relationship needs healing - we can help
Email, call or write - Today!
If one "knows" how and tries - and the other doesn't it will fail
We help people heal their Relationships
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION
Let us help you find long-term resolution for your problems - and
assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing.
If your Relationship needs healing - we can help
Email, call or write - Today!
Healthy Love/Relationships:
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Unhealthy Love/Relationships:
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Do you have a question about Relationships or related topics? Email without obligation about help.
If you are wondering about your own or someone else's relationship, take a look at the following
comparisons:
Good, healthy, functional relationships/marriages and families do not just "happen" on their own.
The people involved make them happen.
And the way they make them happen is by doing certain things differently than many others around
them. Also see Love, Infatuation, Obsession etc)
They believe in, and practice, love, consideration, kindness and empathy.
If you are wondering about your own or someone else's relationship, take a look at the following
comparisons:
Good, healthy, functional relationships/marriages and families do not just "happen" on their own.
The people involved make them happen.
And the way they make them happen is by doing certain things differently than many others around
them. Also see Love, Infatuation, Obsession etc)
They believe in, and practice, love, consideration, kindness and empathy.
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COUNSELING: LIFE COACHING and CONSULTING Online Distance and Tele-Counseling 24/7 Because life's crisis and upsets don't always happen at convenient times HEALING YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD Specializing in helping Adult Children of Alcoholic/Dysfunctional Families ____________________________________________________ Call or write today to start your healing |
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| Follow-up and Support Counseling to Seminars & Workshops Dawn Cove Abbey Empowerment Outreach is a registered not-for-profit business in the province of Nova Scotia, Canada |
If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please email. I'll be happy to hear from you.
| The Dawn Cove Abbey Tradition: Helping People Rediscover Themselves Established in 1995, in commemoration of Abbey Dawn in Kingston, Ontario. |
Regardless how long your behaviour pattern and circumstances may have
becoming a true survivor is possible at any time.
"Each night I die to old habits and to negative thinking and actions that do not
serve me any more;
each morning I am resurrected into new life, again and again – if I so choose."
(adapted from our chapel's prayers).
becoming a true survivor is possible at any time.
"Each night I die to old habits and to negative thinking and actions that do not
serve me any more;
each morning I am resurrected into new life, again and again – if I so choose."
(adapted from our chapel's prayers).
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION
If the description on this page describes you and
you wish to heal, let us help you find long-term
resolution for your problems - and assist you
in your emotional, mental and spiritual healing.
If it describes someone in your life, we can help
you understand it better and how to cope or deal
with it - and bring healing to you as well.
We can help you begin
your Inner Child's journey "home"
Nearly 30 years experience
helping Adult Wounded Children.
Email, call or write to begin the healing - Today!
If the description on this page describes you and
you wish to heal, let us help you find long-term
resolution for your problems - and assist you
in your emotional, mental and spiritual healing.
If it describes someone in your life, we can help
you understand it better and how to cope or deal
with it - and bring healing to you as well.
We can help you begin
your Inner Child's journey "home"
Nearly 30 years experience
helping Adult Wounded Children.
Email, call or write to begin the healing - Today!
| IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION Let us help you find long-term resolution for your problems - and assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing. If you have a Family issue - we can help Email, call or write - Today! Available to you 7 days per week - wherever you are |
Dawn Cove Abbey Transformational Outreach: Resource
| People who really want to heal, will find a way; those who don't, will find an excuse. |
One common feature in sick, unhealthy relationships is the use of "Power Games." The word power can
be used in many ways. Power games are manipulative behaviours that keep two people in a relationship
on an unequal basis.
The power games in sick and unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships - families can be subtle or
blatantly "in your face": power trips destroy!
Whichever way they appear, basically one person in the relationship believes he or she must maintain
control in the relationship. The person who believes this also feels the way to be in control is to have
power over that relationship.
People who buy into using power games to control a relationship often attempt, or engage in,
controlling behaviours.
They are listed below.
be used in many ways. Power games are manipulative behaviours that keep two people in a relationship
on an unequal basis.
The power games in sick and unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships - families can be subtle or
blatantly "in your face": power trips destroy!
Whichever way they appear, basically one person in the relationship believes he or she must maintain
control in the relationship. The person who believes this also feels the way to be in control is to have
power over that relationship.
People who buy into using power games to control a relationship often attempt, or engage in,
controlling behaviours.
They are listed below.
If you found this page helpful and know someone else who could benefit from it, please tell them
NOTE: For Recovering/Healing from a dysfunctional family, coping with or overcoming a dysfunctional
(alcoholic) family/relationship, help is available here - Online, distance help/counselling works!
Related topics: Abuse & Violence, Children-Roles, Codependency & Male-Female Equality, Lifeskills or Building Trust
NOTE: For Recovering/Healing from a dysfunctional family, coping with or overcoming a dysfunctional
(alcoholic) family/relationship, help is available here - Online, distance help/counselling works!
Related topics: Abuse & Violence, Children-Roles, Codependency & Male-Female Equality, Lifeskills or Building Trust
Childhood is where it begins.
Childhood and youth is where it began for almost all lost children;
for all "Adult Children of" . . .
So part of any healing journey is to reconnect with that child inside: the inner child.
And although healing occurs in all those who actively engage in that journey - there
will always be remnants and memories.
Dysfunction too often is generational: it is passed on from one generation to
another. The only way to change it is to break that cycle. The best way to do so is to
begin one's own recovery and healing, and then focus on children in one's life.
This cannot be emphasized too much.
Childhood and youth is where it began for almost all lost children;
for all "Adult Children of" . . .
So part of any healing journey is to reconnect with that child inside: the inner child.
And although healing occurs in all those who actively engage in that journey - there
will always be remnants and memories.
Dysfunction too often is generational: it is passed on from one generation to
another. The only way to change it is to break that cycle. The best way to do so is to
begin one's own recovery and healing, and then focus on children in one's life.
This cannot be emphasized too much.
| Can Adult Children recover and heal and lead creative, functional lives? Yes, they can - and they do! One young lady I know, who despite having some dark days, writes excellent poetry. You can find it on her blog site - click HERE Also see - Survivors Podium on this site, with brief stories from those who succeeded. Please consider sharing your story |
| If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your healing journey, we can help. For more information see Help - to contact us see Contact-Us Please call, write or email without obligation (and strictly confidential) _____________________________________________________________________ |
Dawn Cove Abbey - many ways of helping people learn, recover and heal:
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings
awakening and healing to you.
- providing personal guidance for growth, healing and empowerment
through personal life coaching/counselling.
- extensive information and support pages on this website
- - the information is free and available to all - if you have found it to
be helpful and useful, please consider making a donation toward
maintaining this important service.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings
awakening and healing to you.
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| ~Explorations In Awareness~ -Demystifying & Detoxifying the Mind to combat Alienation and Dysfunction- Please visit and add your voice. |
