| Reclaiming the Wounded, Inner Child Dear sweet little child inside of me, I only wish that you could see how sad I feel for not being there, when you needed help to conquer despair. The pain of heart that you went through, when innocence was snatched from you. I know your life was not the same. The trust and innocence you had are gone - and that's what makes me sad. 'Cause you should laugh, and romp, and play -- enjoying life in every way. When emotions are 'congealed' inside, you cannot, feelings e'er confide... with anger -frustration - you sail life's course, while your abuser ne'er feels remorse. Please don't hang your head in shame, because you really aren't to blame.. Release the guilt you feel inside, and hold your head up high with pride. I picture you, dear innocent child - with heart of gold, so tender, so mild... and hold you close in my embrace, as tears I wipe from your dear face. You see, I've come to RESCUE you from all the pain that you've been through. I'll ne'er let you be hurt again, because I am your long, lost friend!!!!! 1996 ~ Cynthia Becker |
| When Life Hurts When the hurts received from others reaches a point where people actually react to them, an amazingly curious thing happens: they reveal what/who is most loved, prized or precious to them: it will be the thing/person they turn against and take it out on. As a child it might manifest as tearing legs, arms and head off most fav doll, or trashing a prize airplane model, or maiming or hurting a beloved pet; in adulthood it might be destroying a loved tool or appliance, attack & hurt the loved one, or push the loved one away harder and harder, or run as far away as possible. They attack, destroy, damage, maim, hurt or leave exactly those things or people most precious & loved to them. Only later, when all the demolition and carnage is done, do they take stock and fully come to realize, not just what they've done, but what they've lost. And this has been known for ages - there's a song about it that people have known for years: "You always hurt the one you love". And the pain will grow, and the hurt will grow, and the guilt will grow, and the self-hatred, self-loathing and self-disgust will grow. And rage will build. This is the point at which healing/recovery can begin - because that is when people are ready - or can be. Recover-Heal through Counselling |
The clearer you can see yourself the easier it becomes to find more balance in your life - to find more happiness,
fulfillment, and serenity: toward achieving your full Human Potential. Read “Rules For Being Human” as well.
Klaas Tuinman M.A.
Dawn Cove Abbey
2009
fulfillment, and serenity: toward achieving your full Human Potential. Read “Rules For Being Human” as well.
Klaas Tuinman M.A.
Dawn Cove Abbey
2009
| CALL TO A WOUNDED CHILD Walk with Me Through darkened rooms we'll climb Past covered dust-filled sculptures in the night With hand in Mine we'll fight the shadows left behind Till all that's hid within is brought to light Fear not that which is lurking in the dark Nor tremble at the sights which you have seen For if in Me you trust with all your heart Then all the times of sorrow I'll redeem |
| You are a child of the universe, and you have a right to be here: Victims No More |
| Take a Stand against a "social sickness" - Child Pornography. Light a Candle to stop Child Pornography, just click below on the word "stop", and it will take you directly to the website prepared for it. STOP |
| Dawn Cove Abbey: Helping Adult Children make sense of chaotic lives: healing & recovery |
Invisible Violence
Invisible Violence
There is a big misconception about violence.
A lot of people believe violence must be physical,
that there must be bruises,
wounds,
or worse
for it to be violence.
There is a big misconception about violence.
A lot of people believe violence must be physical,
that there must be bruises,
wounds,
or worse
for it to be violence.
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Healing
outreach
around
outreach
around
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| Adult Child - Survivor Resource Section |
| People who really want to heal, will find a way; those who don't will find an excuse. Claudia who wrote this page found a way . . . |
But there is a type of violence that is not physical,
it’s invisible,
and so subtle the victim doesn’t even notice,
and ends up losing all her willpower.
But she doesn’t lose only her willpower.
She loses her voice,
her dreams,
her identity.
She loses all her willpower
because without noticing
she no longer makes any decisions by herself.
He decides everything,
from what to buy at the grocery store
to when to go,
or not go,
to the doctor.
it’s invisible,
and so subtle the victim doesn’t even notice,
and ends up losing all her willpower.
But she doesn’t lose only her willpower.
She loses her voice,
her dreams,
her identity.
She loses all her willpower
because without noticing
she no longer makes any decisions by herself.
He decides everything,
from what to buy at the grocery store
to when to go,
or not go,
to the doctor.
I am grateful to Claudia for sharing this with us.
The story is a familiar one to me (Klaas);
it is repeated over and over again,
daily,
in many places.
Not everyone finds the strength to take that large step,
or not initially, perhaps.
Children
- unfortunately –
are not able to make such choices,
although some,
when they reach their teen,
or pre-teen years run away
(often to a life that isn’t much better)
They all need your prayers – and your support.
Thank you
Klaas Tuinman+ MA
Music: China Roses (Enya)
The story is a familiar one to me (Klaas);
it is repeated over and over again,
daily,
in many places.
Not everyone finds the strength to take that large step,
or not initially, perhaps.
Children
- unfortunately –
are not able to make such choices,
although some,
when they reach their teen,
or pre-teen years run away
(often to a life that isn’t much better)
They all need your prayers – and your support.
Thank you
Klaas Tuinman+ MA
Music: China Roses (Enya)
| ____________________________________________________ MorningStar Inspiration from Dawn Cove Abbey Article, haiku, humour and poem contributions are welcomed, and gratefully received Layout & Design by DawnStar ____________________________________________________ |
To submit comments, requests or materials,
contact me at outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
contact me at outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
For empowerment workshops, seminars and lectures,
see: http://www.dawncoveabbey.org/healing-circle
see: http://www.dawncoveabbey.org/healing-circle
Visit the new Stella Maris Community: a special
place where truth and beauty dwells HERE
place where truth and beauty dwells HERE
to say how she felt,
twisted and used against her,
or ignored.
She ends up withdrawing into herself
for fear of being yelled at again,
her words twisted again.
She withdraws into herself until she hardly speaks,
thus losing her voice.
She loses her dreams because she can’t realize them,
and she loses her identity
because she ends up hardly leaving the house,
without friends,
she ends up not doing what she likes to do,
not doing anything for herself and by herself,
only what he decides when he decides.
The victim ends up isolated,
controlled,
without willpower,
without dreams,
and voiceless.
Anxiety becomes severe
and begins to consume her.
Many people can never escape this type of violence.
But sometimes the victim manages to open her eyes,
notice what and how she has been living,
and gathers the strength necessary to escape.
Such strength can come when she least expects it,
and from whom she least expects,
without noticing.
For one victim,
it probably was the death of a family member
and how she was treated by him
and his family afterwards
that gave her the strength to leave.
With great effort she begins to talk about her feelings,
and that’s when she starts to open her eyes,
and notice how she’s treated.
As she continues to talk about her feelings,
about what’s going on,
first with friends and then with family,
she begins to recover her voice,
she builds up strength
even though at first
she resists the very notion of leaving.
Little by little she talks more,
gathers more strength
and her resistance to leave decreases
until it disappears completely.
And one day something happens,
which by itself it’s not that important,
but contains something
which for her is the last straw,
and gives her the push she needed
to make the decision to leave.
But because she had lost all her willpower
she can’t do it alone,
and though she can’t ask for it directly,
she needs help to leave.
When she manages to leave,
she’s no longer a victim,
she’s a survivor,
and with time,
help,
and baby steps,
she is beginning to recover
her willpower,
her dreams,
and her identity.
Written and Contributed by Claudia Weinstein (August ’09)
__________________________________________________
twisted and used against her,
or ignored.
She ends up withdrawing into herself
for fear of being yelled at again,
her words twisted again.
She withdraws into herself until she hardly speaks,
thus losing her voice.
She loses her dreams because she can’t realize them,
and she loses her identity
because she ends up hardly leaving the house,
without friends,
she ends up not doing what she likes to do,
not doing anything for herself and by herself,
only what he decides when he decides.
The victim ends up isolated,
controlled,
without willpower,
without dreams,
and voiceless.
Anxiety becomes severe
and begins to consume her.
Many people can never escape this type of violence.
But sometimes the victim manages to open her eyes,
notice what and how she has been living,
and gathers the strength necessary to escape.
Such strength can come when she least expects it,
and from whom she least expects,
without noticing.
For one victim,
it probably was the death of a family member
and how she was treated by him
and his family afterwards
that gave her the strength to leave.
With great effort she begins to talk about her feelings,
and that’s when she starts to open her eyes,
and notice how she’s treated.
As she continues to talk about her feelings,
about what’s going on,
first with friends and then with family,
she begins to recover her voice,
she builds up strength
even though at first
she resists the very notion of leaving.
Little by little she talks more,
gathers more strength
and her resistance to leave decreases
until it disappears completely.
And one day something happens,
which by itself it’s not that important,
but contains something
which for her is the last straw,
and gives her the push she needed
to make the decision to leave.
But because she had lost all her willpower
she can’t do it alone,
and though she can’t ask for it directly,
she needs help to leave.
When she manages to leave,
she’s no longer a victim,
she’s a survivor,
and with time,
help,
and baby steps,
she is beginning to recover
her willpower,
her dreams,
and her identity.
Written and Contributed by Claudia Weinstein (August ’09)
__________________________________________________
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| People who really want to heal will find a way; those who don't, will find an excuse. |
Dawn Cove Abbey Transformational Outreach: Resource
If you found this page helpful and know someone else who could benefit from it, please tell them
NOTE: For Recovering/Healing from a dysfunctional family, coping with or overcoming a dysfunctional
(alcoholic) family/relationship, help is available here - Online, distance help/counselling works!
Related topics: Abuse & Violence, Children-Roles, Codependency & Male-Female Equality, Lifeskills or Building Trust
NOTE: For Recovering/Healing from a dysfunctional family, coping with or overcoming a dysfunctional
(alcoholic) family/relationship, help is available here - Online, distance help/counselling works!
Related topics: Abuse & Violence, Children-Roles, Codependency & Male-Female Equality, Lifeskills or Building Trust
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I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings
awakening and healing to you.
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