Another stage of your life-journey: "another transition". That stage of life people talk about as "the golden, or
twilight years". And here you are - wondering what happened. Where is the "golden" part?
"Old" is more a state of mind, than a state of being!
Here you are, suddenly "senior"; "senior citizen";"elderly"; "growing old"; "aged"; "aging" (ageing) - and for so
many, it doesn't look or feel, or seem at all as it had been described. The doting children and grand-children do, in all
too many cases, not come to gather round your feet.
They do not come to you for the wisdom, knowledge and experience you acquired and accumulated. Instead, all too
often again, once you're seniors, you are seen as "old-fashioned" - or worse yet, "past it". Kind of suddenly left in
limbo, so to speak.
That picture so many had of arriving at that stage of maturity after so many other life transition: childhood,
adolescence, teen-youth, maturity, middle-age - just didn't happen.
One more of the many transitions of your life: from dependent (child-youth) to independent (maturity), from being
parents, friends, neighbours, co-workers, hobbyists, athletes, spouses, partners, grand-parents, etc.
As a senior, you have:
And all that has brought you to this stage of life you had looked forward to: to discover that you had been ill-
prepared for the reality of it: by yourself, by others, by "society". Again, what happened?
twilight years". And here you are - wondering what happened. Where is the "golden" part?
"Old" is more a state of mind, than a state of being!
Here you are, suddenly "senior"; "senior citizen";"elderly"; "growing old"; "aged"; "aging" (ageing) - and for so
many, it doesn't look or feel, or seem at all as it had been described. The doting children and grand-children do, in all
too many cases, not come to gather round your feet.
They do not come to you for the wisdom, knowledge and experience you acquired and accumulated. Instead, all too
often again, once you're seniors, you are seen as "old-fashioned" - or worse yet, "past it". Kind of suddenly left in
limbo, so to speak.
That picture so many had of arriving at that stage of maturity after so many other life transition: childhood,
adolescence, teen-youth, maturity, middle-age - just didn't happen.
One more of the many transitions of your life: from dependent (child-youth) to independent (maturity), from being
parents, friends, neighbours, co-workers, hobbyists, athletes, spouses, partners, grand-parents, etc.
As a senior, you have:
- celebrated births, baptisms, engagements, weddings, anniversaries and family holidays.
- sorrowed, experienced and mourned misfortune, disaster, loss, bereavement, sickness etc.
- experienced joy and sorrow; happiness and sadness; anxiety and fear etc.
And all that has brought you to this stage of life you had looked forward to: to discover that you had been ill-
prepared for the reality of it: by yourself, by others, by "society". Again, what happened?
This is to be a Positive online transition place for seniors: a place to assess what happened, what is "really"
involved; and what you can do.
Identity: Besides health, illness and ailments issues, the single most important, and often devastating challenge, or
situation, facing "seniors" is the strong sense of loss of identity: who you are, where you fit, and how you now fit
in.
For years you may have been the provider (financial, home making, "fixer" etc, etc;) and suddenly you seem to have
been shifted out of those roles, and become - a "what"? You may often feel like you are suddenly on an other planet.
And once you arrive at that stage, there is (or there can be) a sense of confusion - and a major loss of
self-confidence, a loss of self-worth and self-esteem - kind of feeling in limbo, so to speak.
You have to "re-invent" yourself - at least, that's how it often feels.
Yet, the life transition from youth, to middle age to old age is something everyone goes through. It is that final stage
ageing, where we become "elderly" - or becoming "seniors".
It is the most overwhelming of all the life transitions humans face - because of the many changes this particular
transition involves.
involved; and what you can do.
Identity: Besides health, illness and ailments issues, the single most important, and often devastating challenge, or
situation, facing "seniors" is the strong sense of loss of identity: who you are, where you fit, and how you now fit
in.
For years you may have been the provider (financial, home making, "fixer" etc, etc;) and suddenly you seem to have
been shifted out of those roles, and become - a "what"? You may often feel like you are suddenly on an other planet.
And once you arrive at that stage, there is (or there can be) a sense of confusion - and a major loss of
self-confidence, a loss of self-worth and self-esteem - kind of feeling in limbo, so to speak.
You have to "re-invent" yourself - at least, that's how it often feels.
Yet, the life transition from youth, to middle age to old age is something everyone goes through. It is that final stage
ageing, where we become "elderly" - or becoming "seniors".
It is the most overwhelming of all the life transitions humans face - because of the many changes this particular
transition involves.
This stage, ageing, when it arrives, provides a challenge to the entire concept of who you are - your self-image. In a sense, it is very similar to
the transition you faced, and experienced, when entering your teens.
The difference is, in your youth you were faced with a life-time ahead of you: with time and opportunity to make and explore options and
choices, and make changes. Now you are labelled as: the elderly, ageing, senior: a major shock to your self-esteem, self-image, and
self-confidence.
However, at this end of the spectrum of life, there are, or seem to be, fewer choices, and less time and energy ahead of you. This is not just a
big difference - it is an important and very significant difference.
At this stage of life transitions, the choice, or choices you make are much more crucial for our continued, or renewed happiness, confidence
and joy of who you are.
the transition you faced, and experienced, when entering your teens.
The difference is, in your youth you were faced with a life-time ahead of you: with time and opportunity to make and explore options and
choices, and make changes. Now you are labelled as: the elderly, ageing, senior: a major shock to your self-esteem, self-image, and
self-confidence.
However, at this end of the spectrum of life, there are, or seem to be, fewer choices, and less time and energy ahead of you. This is not just a
big difference - it is an important and very significant difference.
At this stage of life transitions, the choice, or choices you make are much more crucial for our continued, or renewed happiness, confidence
and joy of who you are.
The so-called "golden years" are only golden if you make them so - it is a choice entirely dependent on you.
It involves "attitude". Attitude in life is an important and crucial factor.
And at this stage it is more important than ever.
With the right attitude you can make good choices: choices that enrich your life.
Poor choices result in an unhappy life.
It is as simple, and as complicated as that: the choice to take life and make it what you want.
Growing old together gracefully is a wonderful goal - and many have achieved it. There are things they did to make it so.
Some Positive Thoughts:
Ageing is a major life transition: How Old is Old?
These days, few people in our society agree on what "old" means, or when people become "seniors."
For example, some places give senior discounts at 55; others at 65;
but some organizations allow you to join at 50-and start sending you "seniors" mail when you're 48!
So what is a senior & aging?
It all depends on what criteria you use. See the above "positive thoughts" for reference.
Dealing with all that - and re-discovering that joy is a journey, one that can be challenging - but ultimately rewarding.
If at times it gets you down - why not take a look at the Inspirational Page here, to find some things that make your day?
And if you are grieving lost ones - there are also the Grief & Bereavement, as well as the Online Memorial Pages for you to read.
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Short Beach, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada - 2007
Your suggestions and comments are welcomed and encouraged.
There is no charge, or obligation. See Contact Info.
It involves "attitude". Attitude in life is an important and crucial factor.
And at this stage it is more important than ever.
With the right attitude you can make good choices: choices that enrich your life.
Poor choices result in an unhappy life.
It is as simple, and as complicated as that: the choice to take life and make it what you want.
Growing old together gracefully is a wonderful goal - and many have achieved it. There are things they did to make it so.
Some Positive Thoughts:
- You are not old (elderly or senior) - you live in a body that is getting older!
- You're as old as you think you are! ("age" is a state of mind)
- We get too soon old - and too late smart (Swedish Proverb)
Ageing is a major life transition: How Old is Old?
These days, few people in our society agree on what "old" means, or when people become "seniors."
For example, some places give senior discounts at 55; others at 65;
but some organizations allow you to join at 50-and start sending you "seniors" mail when you're 48!
So what is a senior & aging?
It all depends on what criteria you use. See the above "positive thoughts" for reference.
- Aging & becoming a senior involves your body changing and slowing down - as well as your maturity showing through.
- As stated above, most of all - it can be a time of identity crisis - who are you, and who values what you learned and what you have
become?
- The single biggest challenge for seniors is dealing with loneliness: loneliness due to loss of partner, loss of friends, loss of career,
loss of home, loss of mobility, or a combination of these.
- Loss of independence (related to the above) - you become more and more dependent on others.
- You are suddenly the "elderly", the "retired", "seniors" - no longer part of the workplace, career etc.
- A transfer of roles, and duties - again challenging your sense of who you are: identity.
- An "erosion" of your identity and roles as others gradually take them from you, whether on purpose or through ignorance.
- Misunderstanding by others of what "growing old" really means.
- How to accept these changes and transition gracefully - how to maintain your dignity and sense of self-worth.
- Seniors still have their feelings, and sensitivities: they are not a different species!
- Often there are physical health issues (your own, or the illness of a loved one). Common emotional issues are Depression and Stress.
- There can also be other major emotional issues - related to the effects of all the bodily changes - the slowing down.
- some of the emotional issues come from some of the indignities you may suffer as a result of illness (johnny-shirts, hospital gowns,
being poked and prodded - often embarrassingly in private places, being seen in the "all-together" by strangers, etc) - Also Depression/Anxiety
- For many, there are also financial issues, monetary matters - coping on a reduced, fixed income
- personal loss (death of friends, family members, partner or other loved ones). Also see Bereavement-Grief,
- and unless steps are taken to prevent them, there are also: depression, bitterness and fear (of all sorts of things, including the next
transition and destination of our life journey).
Dealing with all that - and re-discovering that joy is a journey, one that can be challenging - but ultimately rewarding.
If at times it gets you down - why not take a look at the Inspirational Page here, to find some things that make your day?
And if you are grieving lost ones - there are also the Grief & Bereavement, as well as the Online Memorial Pages for you to read.
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Short Beach, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada - 2007
Your suggestions and comments are welcomed and encouraged.
There is no charge, or obligation. See Contact Info.
Growing Old and Suddenly Senior: Maturing with Dignity and Grace
| Life Transition: Facing The Challenges |
The Challenges of Aging/Ageing - Becoming Elderly & Senior
| Other Links |
Healing & Empowerment: Counselling - Life
Coaching, Seminars, Workshops & Retreats
Coaching, Seminars, Workshops & Retreats
| When life hurts - there is immediate help for long term hope |
| Dawn Cove Abbey Empowerment Outreach - New Beginning Online Information Resources, and other supports for Individuals, Couples and Families LIFE COUNSELING / COACHING / COUNSELLING and CONSULTING: HEALING YOUR WOUNDED INNER LOST CHILD |
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