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| When Life Hurts When the hurts received from others reaches a point where people actually react to them, an amazingly curious thing loved, prized or precious to them: it will be the thing/person they turn against and take it out on. As a child it might manifest as tearing legs, arms and head off most fav doll, or trashing a prize airplane model, or maiming or hurting a beloved pet; in adulthood it might be destroying a loved tool or appliance, attack & hurt the loved one, or push the loved one away harder and harder, or run as far away as possible. They attack, destroy, damage, maim, hurt or leave exactly those things or people most precious & loved to them. Only later, when all the demolition and carnage is done, do they take stock and fully come to realize, not just what they've done, but what they've lost. And this has been known for ages - there's a song about it that people have known for years: "You always hurt the one you love". And the pain will grow, and the hurt will grow, and the guilt will grow, and the self-hatred, self-loathing and self-disgust will grow. And rage will build. This is the point at which healing/recovery can begin - because that is when people are ready - or can be. Recover-Heal through Counselling/Coaching |
A dysfunctional, sick, unfulfilling family or relationship is also a secretive system
with a lot of scapegoating, denial and enabling.
(learning early to keep the family's secrets).
with a lot of scapegoating, denial and enabling.
- Rules/motto of the Dysfunctional Family (taboo):
(learning early to keep the family's secrets).
- Children (kids) learn from their parents! The things children see, hear, watch, observe and experience
their parents doing - are the things that "tell" the children "how life is"; what's okay; what's acceptable,
etc.
- After all, that's where we learned (obtained) our basic notions about life - and those go (went) very
deep! We become victims and survivors.
- Thus, the dysfunctional pattern is usually repeated by adult children of dysfunctional (alcoholic) families:
a cycle - unless they become survivors, children from these families/relationships will tend to adopt
their parents' patterns.
- Children who have grown-up in dysfunctional families share these traits:
- A dysfunctional family depends on harmful or counter-productive methods in order to function. It is a
system that doesn't work very well: it is chaotic, harmful and hurts the people in it:
- it is a major source of stress and depression/anxiety, with many people living lives of quiet desperation
(or as some describe it, a "living hell").
- In this family or relationship, counter-productive actions are repeated again and again until they become
an inherent part of the system - because the overall functioning of the system becomes more important than the means: it is a
maladaptive or deviant group/system.
| Can wounded adult children recover, heal and lead creative, functional lives? Yes, they can - and they do! One young lady I know, who despite having some dark days, writes excellent poetry. You can find it on her blog site - click HERE Also see - Survivors Podium on this site, with brief stories from those who succeeded. - please consider sharing your story - |
Traits: Children who grow up in dysfunctional, alcoholic and unfulfilling homes and
families and spiritual damage to the child - with devastating consequences.
They are robbed of their childhood.
Their childhood is taken away from them - never to be regained
- with devastating consequences: unless they become survivors: they take on
character "roles".
They often become "parentified".
There are two main results from being parentified:
- intense anger,
- and an inability to form solid attachments later in life
(which creates many future relationship difficulties).
This is different from the role mentioned above.
The most seriously devastating of the "roles" is the Lost Child syndrome - for there
is real emotional-mental damage there (and a primary focus of our Counseling-recovery
healing services (see "Children - Roles" for more detail).
Closely connected to this overview of dysfunctional families are the following three
inter-related aspects of the consequences of growing up in one:
These are The Inner Child-Child Within, Adult Children's adaptive "Roles",
and The Lost Child Role/Syndrome.
families and spiritual damage to the child - with devastating consequences.
They are robbed of their childhood.
Their childhood is taken away from them - never to be regained
- with devastating consequences: unless they become survivors: they take on
character "roles".
They often become "parentified".
There are two main results from being parentified:
- intense anger,
- and an inability to form solid attachments later in life
(which creates many future relationship difficulties).
This is different from the role mentioned above.
The most seriously devastating of the "roles" is the Lost Child syndrome - for there
is real emotional-mental damage there (and a primary focus of our Counseling-recovery
healing services (see "Children - Roles" for more detail).
- Characteristics: In a dysfunctional, alcoholic or sick family, there is usually at
least one person who exercises ownership of/over everyone else in that family
system-unit. They treat all others in it as if they own them! Thus, feeling that
they quite rightly can treat them anyway they want.
- Dysfunction in families/relationships knows no boundaries: it is found among rich
and poor; among all cultures, races and religions & political systems.
Closely connected to this overview of dysfunctional families are the following three
inter-related aspects of the consequences of growing up in one:
These are The Inner Child-Child Within, Adult Children's adaptive "Roles",
and The Lost Child Role/Syndrome.
Dysfunctional family and relationship dynamics can
be due to:
be due to:
- parents' poor (or non-existent) parenting skills is
- mental illness
- chronic physical illness
- substance abuse (drugs/alcohol etc)
- violence & abuse
- poverty, divorce, death
- poor foster care - and many others.
- BUT - it can also be a child with severe
behavioural problems - who becomes the centre
of all the others' attention - and around whom all
the others modify their behaviour.
- Above all - the dysfunctional family (relationship)
is a cultural thing: it is the product of an
emotionally dishonest, shame based, patriarchal
society
- – and based upon beliefs that do not support the
concept of "Love thyself", "Love your neighbor",
or "Do Unto Others as you would have them
do unto you"
We live in a Culture of Dysfunction (a Dysfunctional Culture),
therefore, it isn't just about "Dysfunctional, toxic families".
It goes far beyond that:
to our very role models,
our prototypes,
concepts of what a man is,
of what a woman is,
and what a child is,
are distorted and twisted stereotypes of what masculine,
feminine
and childhood really are.
Thus the Victim Cycle of Violence/Abuse is started and perpetuated (see graphic above).
Concepts such as "dysfunctional", "maladaptive, "sick", "deviant", "codependent" and "functional" are
"culturally-based" terms.
Knowing what they mean is the first step to understanding.
Knowing what to do about them, and how is another thing: help is available here.
therefore, it isn't just about "Dysfunctional, toxic families".
It goes far beyond that:
to our very role models,
our prototypes,
concepts of what a man is,
of what a woman is,
and what a child is,
are distorted and twisted stereotypes of what masculine,
feminine
and childhood really are.
Thus the Victim Cycle of Violence/Abuse is started and perpetuated (see graphic above).
Concepts such as "dysfunctional", "maladaptive, "sick", "deviant", "codependent" and "functional" are
"culturally-based" terms.
Knowing what they mean is the first step to understanding.
Knowing what to do about them, and how is another thing: help is available here.
- Harm or threaten to harm children, family, pets, or objects of
personal value - Use physical force or threats to prevent others from leaving
- Children growing up in a dysfunctional family often display
behaviour problems because of the effect.
| Walk with Me Through darkened rooms we'll climb Past covered dust-filled sculptures in the night With hand in Mine we'll fight the shadows left behind Till all that's hid within is brought to light Fear not that which is lurking in the dark Nor tremble at the sights which you have seen For if in Me you trust with all your heart Then all the times of sorrow I'll redeem ~Unknown |
In unhealthy, toxic, sick, dysfunctional, maladaptive relationships and
families), people:
families), people:
- Try to control or manipulate the others ("use")
- Make the others feel bad about themselves
- Ridicule or call names
- Dictate how others dress
- Do not make time for each other
- Criticize others' friends
- Are afraid of the other's temper
- Discourage all from being close with anyone else
- Ignore each other when one is speaking
- Are overly possessive or get jealous about ordinary behavior
- Criticize or support others in criticizing people with your gender,
race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other
personal attribute - Control others' money or other resources
Also see "The Ten
Commandments Of The
Dysfunctional Family"
Commandments Of The
Dysfunctional Family"
Results of growing up in a Dysfunctional, Maladaptive, Sick Family:
A life of hopelessness, with no meaning, no expectations (or low expectations); not knowing who they are, or even
what they want from life. They have no particular goals, no dreams, no hopes, they more or less passively accept
what life brings them. Their lives are chaotic, mysterious - leaving them alienated and wandering aimlessly;
UNLESS intervention and help takes place
A life of hopelessness, with no meaning, no expectations (or low expectations); not knowing who they are, or even
what they want from life. They have no particular goals, no dreams, no hopes, they more or less passively accept
what life brings them. Their lives are chaotic, mysterious - leaving them alienated and wandering aimlessly;
UNLESS intervention and help takes place
- Later in life, the "survivors" will tend to over-compensate with their children what they missed, or were
denied, and create a new unbalanced, dysfunctional situation - one common result is becoming a
codependent parent.
- They will be unable (or find it difficult) to set life "goals" or even be aware of what they really want from
life.
- Adult children from dysfunctional (particularly alcoholic) families tend to "sabotage" future relationships -
especially "good" ones because of "fear": fear of the unknown. As well, because they tend to feel unworthy
and undeserving of happiness and wholesome personal lives.
- Projecting: because everything they know about people comes from that sick environment - they will
interpret all other people, and people's behaviour through the mental "filter" they have formed - and
misunderstand and misrepresent those - and will see them the same as that of what they knew. After all,
experience is the only thing they have - and thus tend to see all others in the same light as those people
(parents/partners, etc, as all being alike - thus "projecting" one individual's traits, behaviours etc onto all
others of the same gender - role etc - and reacting to it as if it were the same: with devastating
consequences for their future relationships.
- fear of, or inability for, emotional intimacy (also see Glossary) - the inability to be intimate
in "new" - Children who grow up in a dysfunctional home end up being emotionally stunted (thus halting
development of their potential.
- They constantly keep themselves "busy" - they cannot stand silence or inactivity.
- They seek out other people and activities (ritual housecleaning, working on car, etc) as a way to
"fill time".
- This is because they are constantly, and continually "running away from themselves".
- Silence provides opportunity for unwanted thoughts and feelings to surface, so all sorts of
steps are taken to prevent that through keeping busy.
- Children from sick families often mistake kindness for weakness, whether as a child, or later
in life as an adult child.
- They tend to be codependent, and often suffer from anxiety/depression, passive-aggressive
syndrome, and stress. - they see other people as someone to "use".
- Children (adult or young) will have impaired problem-solving and conflict resolution skills.
- People from dysfunctional families/relationships tend to attract, and seek out, others from
dysfunctional backgrounds - and thus continuing the pattern/cycle.
A family's purpose (remembering the cultural/community component) can be seen
as: the living, sharing, nourishing and development of life in healthy circumstances -
it is easy to see the differences in comparison.
In sick families/relationships, when this purpose is no longer fulfilled - such as when
making a living or caring for children becomes immersed in addictions, lies, violence,
or personal manipulation, yet still continues, that system has become dysfunctional -
with strong codependency traits.
The "good news" is, that these can be overcome, reversed, and healed from
(see "The Awakening").
Klaas Tuinman M.A
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia - Rev: 2010
as: the living, sharing, nourishing and development of life in healthy circumstances -
it is easy to see the differences in comparison.
In sick families/relationships, when this purpose is no longer fulfilled - such as when
making a living or caring for children becomes immersed in addictions, lies, violence,
or personal manipulation, yet still continues, that system has become dysfunctional -
with strong codependency traits.
- If, for example, Dad's drinking or abusing Mom allows him to continue working
at his meaningless job, that the family depends on, then this behavior
becomes accepted as part of the family system. - Because the child is born into it, the family's method of functioning is seen as
"normal", rather than sick, maladaptive or deviant - it becomes simply "the
way things are" for that child. It is part of their socialization process. - This form of dysfunction is shrouded in non-communication, alienation, fear,
denial and anger which, while shared by all, is not permissible to express. - These feelings get channeled into standardized behavior patterns designed to
keep the unhealthy system functioning as smoothly as it can under the
circumstances.
- The patterns become second nature, part of the basic survival mechanisms
which people carry through into all their subsequent situations.
The "good news" is, that these can be overcome, reversed, and healed from
(see "The Awakening").
Klaas Tuinman M.A
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia - Rev: 2010
| Violence & Children's Development CLICK |
| Growing up in a dysfunctional family. CLICK |
| Questionnaire: Are you a survivor or member of a Dysfunctional Family? CLICK! |
| Also see: Montreal Massacre |
Light a Candle to stop Child Pornography, just click below on the word "stop" to go directly to the website prepared for it. STOP |
| They can provide information on other Transition (shelter) places - and also provide information to males. Click graphic for Info |
Denial & Enabling: Denial is the refusal to accept or believe something; disowning or disavowing; repudiating: a
defense mechanism.
Denial can, and does, apply to internal thoughts and feelings also - feelings which have been suppressed because of
the dysfunction. Denying perpetuates the situation, and leads to "enabling":
stunting development of their Human Potential: there actually are "Rules For Being Human".
Denial is: any action by people that intentionally or unintentionally has the effect of
facilitating the continuation of an individual’s dysfunctional behaviour;
Denial is the mechanism that "keeps it going".
The "weirdness" actually consists in the fact that it is the "sick" situation we are using as the "standard of
comparison", as if, somehow, it was "right" and the other is "wrong" - avoiding making that judgement about the
original sick, dysfunctional family.
Culture plays a tremendously large role in Dysfunction.
defense mechanism.
Denial can, and does, apply to internal thoughts and feelings also - feelings which have been suppressed because of
the dysfunction. Denying perpetuates the situation, and leads to "enabling":
stunting development of their Human Potential: there actually are "Rules For Being Human".
Denial is: any action by people that intentionally or unintentionally has the effect of
facilitating the continuation of an individual’s dysfunctional behaviour;
- It takes many forms. But they all have the same effect
- Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing themselves. Quite simply, enabling
creates a atmosphere in which the dysfunctional (alcoholic) person can comfortably continue his/her
unacceptable behavior. The combination of "denial" and "enabling" is also often called "rescuing" - meaning once
again the dysfunctional person, or perpetrator, is able to continue about their behaviour without being
challenged on it
Denial is the mechanism that "keeps it going".
- Closely related to denial and enabling is: avoidance - always looking for solutions that aren't there, because
they frantically avoid dealing with the real issues and problems. Hence, the situation continues.
- Mostly, this is due to the fact that our human tendency is to judge/compare new experiences, ideas,
practices, customs, situations and people in our lives by comparing them, or measuring them against what we
know.
The "weirdness" actually consists in the fact that it is the "sick" situation we are using as the "standard of
comparison", as if, somehow, it was "right" and the other is "wrong" - avoiding making that judgement about the
original sick, dysfunctional family.
- To people raised in a dysfunctional family, or trapped in a dysfunctional relationship, the opposite (healthy,
functional and adaptive) looks weird, strange, "sick", intimidating and scary.
- Mostly, this is due to the fact that our human tendency is to "judge" new experiences, people and situations in
our lives by comparing them, or measuring them against what we know.
- The "weirdness" actually consists in the fact that it is the "sick" situation we are using as the "standard", as
if, somehow, it was "right" and the other is "wrong".
- In a way, most of us are children from dysfunctional families, because in any family, everyone's needs are
seldom fully met completely (in a good system, there is always "compromise", and compromise means adjusting,
giving and receiving - "meeting in the middle").
- Even in the best of situations, someone (or all) are at times left feeling resentful, left-out or unheeded. Each
of us is a product of our past: from childhood on, along with all the subsequent things we experienced, including
the recent past. The dysfunctional family is maladaptive and deviant: sick. It is an extreme on the scale of
possible realities.
- An "adult child" is a person who chronologically is an adult, but emotionally and spiritually never grew up, and is
this still a child inside.
Culture plays a tremendously large role in Dysfunction.
The dynamics, traits, characteristics of a sick, deviant, maladaptive, or dysfunctional
family/relationship can include:
family/relationship can include:
- negative, blaming and poor communication.
- withholding of empathy and blunting of feelings.
- parental abdication of responsibilities.
- role reversals between parents and children which lead to children being forced to take on
excessive responsibilities. - hostile interactions.
- a depleted sense of family goals.
- involvement in repeated family crises.
- the absence of positive reciprocal relationships (lack of mutual, "2-way street)".
- unpredictability which leads to a general state of tension.
- inconsistent, or changing “rules”.
- inconsistent “enforcement” of the “rules”.
- children afraid to bring friends home because they are afraid the alcoholic, dysfunctional or abusing
parent will embarrass them. - in the home, children may withdraw into their rooms.
- marital conflict, tension & sometimes physical violence.
- home can be chaotic & unpredictable, never know what mood the drinker/abuser or major
dysfunctional person will be in.
- denial of family problems (codependent)
outreach
around
the world
around
the world
Dysfunctional / Alcoholic Toxic Families: Characteristics & Traits
| Dysfunctional, Toxic Alcoholic Families Effects on Adult Children, Victims and Survivors If you are an "Adult Child" what you are about to read is a description of your family, and not an indictment of you. It describes behaviour patterns that result from toxic families, and were learned as results of a particular life history – and which can be changed. |
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION
We can assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing.
We are here to help heal your Inner Child Email, call or write - Today!
We can assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing.
We are here to help heal your Inner Child Email, call or write - Today!
| Follow-up and Support Counseling to Seminars & Workshops Dawn Cove Abbey Empowerment Outreach is a registered (not for profit) business in the province of Nova Scotia, Canada |
| | | | |
A dysfunctional family is a toxic family (or relationship) that doesn't work, or doesn't work well.
- The word "dysfunctional" is regularly used in several ways, to describe a wide range of
situations. The range of dysfunction can vary tremendously - but in severe cases, much of it is
similar to the information below.
- In an alcoholic, dysfunctional, sick family, the important life needs of members are not met:
physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. There is no "safety", and certainly no happiness.
In many situations families often put us in the difficult position of choosing between
family loyalty and maintaining our own healthy boundaries.
Family dynamics are heavily influenced by cultural values; and some cultures put a very
high value on the closeness of family, as well as being loyalty to family.
Other cultures do not.
If you come from a culture which places a high value on familial loyalty and your family is
fairly toxic, you can be in trouble.
It can create a real challenge to your own mental health.
What does a toxic family look like?
Toxicity in families can take as many forms are there are families, so it would be
impossible to list them all.
I have provided an outline or character sketch of the dysfunctional toxic family below.
family loyalty and maintaining our own healthy boundaries.
Family dynamics are heavily influenced by cultural values; and some cultures put a very
high value on the closeness of family, as well as being loyalty to family.
Other cultures do not.
If you come from a culture which places a high value on familial loyalty and your family is
fairly toxic, you can be in trouble.
It can create a real challenge to your own mental health.
What does a toxic family look like?
Toxicity in families can take as many forms are there are families, so it would be
impossible to list them all.
I have provided an outline or character sketch of the dysfunctional toxic family below.
It is a family, relationship, system or culture where one or both of the primary caretakers
(parents etc) were unable to fulfill their family responsibilities; or one in which physical, emotional, or
sexual abuse was experienced: a culture of dysfunction. There are many forms of violence and abuse.
(parents etc) were unable to fulfill their family responsibilities; or one in which physical, emotional, or
sexual abuse was experienced: a culture of dysfunction. There are many forms of violence and abuse.
- Alcohol & Dysfunction feature inconsistent and unpredictable parenting, or has uncaring,
neglectful, or critical parent-child interactions.
- There are many "causes" for dysfunction (addiction, violence/abuse etc), but the results all
follow one identical pattern that is easily recognizable: what applies to one, applies to all: the
Recovery/Healing, escape or overcoming is the same: it's like an "Awakening".
| Survivors' web sites |
| Light A Candle for Children who are victims of Domestic Dispute Click HERE |
Dysfunction means "Does Not Work! "
A dysfunctional family/relationship is one where the real, actual physical, emotional,
mental and spiritual needs of its members are not met.
These toxic dysfunctional families are responsible for the behaviours its members,
especially the children, engage in as coping and survival strategies.
These learned behaviours generally cause serious problems in their future lives -
the young children grow up to become "adult children".
A dysfunctional family/relationship is one where the real, actual physical, emotional,
mental and spiritual needs of its members are not met.
These toxic dysfunctional families are responsible for the behaviours its members,
especially the children, engage in as coping and survival strategies.
These learned behaviours generally cause serious problems in their future lives -
the young children grow up to become "adult children".
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Dawn Cove Abbey - many ways of helping people learn, recover and heal:
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings
awakening and healing to you.
- providing personal guidance for growth, healing and empowerment
through personal life coaching/counselling.
- extensive information and support pages on this website
- - the information is free and available to all - if you have found it to
be helpful and useful, please consider making a donation toward
maintaining this important service.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings
awakening and healing to you.
Regardless how long your behaviour pattern and circumstances may have
existed, and no matter how much you despair of healing: recovery - healing and
becoming a true survivor is possible at any time.
"Each night I die to old habits and to negative thinking and actions that do not
serve me any more;
each morning I am resurrected into new life, again and again – if I so choose."
(adapted from our chapel's prayers).
existed, and no matter how much you despair of healing: recovery - healing and
becoming a true survivor is possible at any time.
"Each night I die to old habits and to negative thinking and actions that do not
serve me any more;
each morning I am resurrected into new life, again and again – if I so choose."
(adapted from our chapel's prayers).
| Adult Children of Dysfunctional Toxic Families/Relationships - Resource |
If the description on this page describes you and
you wish to heal, let us help you find long-term
resolution for your problems - and assist you
in your emotional, mental and spiritual healing.
If it describes someone in your life, we can help
you understand it better and how to cope or deal
with it - and bring healing to you as well.
We can help you begin
your Inner Child's journey "home"
Nearly 30 years experience
helping Adult Wounded Children.
Email, call or write to begin the healing - Today!
you wish to heal, let us help you find long-term
resolution for your problems - and assist you
in your emotional, mental and spiritual healing.
If it describes someone in your life, we can help
you understand it better and how to cope or deal
with it - and bring healing to you as well.
We can help you begin
your Inner Child's journey "home"
Nearly 30 years experience
helping Adult Wounded Children.
Email, call or write to begin the healing - Today!
| IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION Let us help you find long-term resolution for your problems - and assist you in your Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Healing. If you have a Family issue - we can help Email, call or write - Today! Available to you 7 days per week - wherever you are |
Dawn Cove Abbey Transformational Outreach: Resource
| People who really want to heal, will find a way; those who don't, will find an excuse. |
If you found this page helpful and know someone else who could benefit from it, please tell them
NOTE: For Recovering/Healing from a dysfunctional family, coping with or overcoming a dysfunctional
(alcoholic) family/relationship, help is available here - Online, distance help/counselling works!
Related topics: Abuse & Violence, Children-Roles, Codependency & Male-Female Equality, Lifeskills or Building Trust
NOTE: For Recovering/Healing from a dysfunctional family, coping with or overcoming a dysfunctional
(alcoholic) family/relationship, help is available here - Online, distance help/counselling works!
Related topics: Abuse & Violence, Children-Roles, Codependency & Male-Female Equality, Lifeskills or Building Trust
As long as you keep thinking that it is not your fault (how you fell now); that something else
must change, you will continue to feel helpless and powerless. By continuing to play the
victim, you will be totally at the mercy of your environment. -Unknown
must change, you will continue to feel helpless and powerless. By continuing to play the
victim, you will be totally at the mercy of your environment. -Unknown
The good news is that although it seems difficult, anyone can dig down deep past set behaviours and
change their core responses.
If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your healing journey, we can help. Please call,
write or email without obligation (and strictly confidential)
To contact us, please see Contact-Us
change their core responses.
If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your healing journey, we can help. Please call,
write or email without obligation (and strictly confidential)
To contact us, please see Contact-Us
We welcome inquiries. There is no obligation, and there will be no unwanted
follow-up solicitation. All inquiries are totally confidential: see Contact Us
follow-up solicitation. All inquiries are totally confidential: see Contact Us
Roadside Assistance for your healing and reconciliation Journey Of Life
Childhood is where it begins.
Childhood and youth is where it began for almost all lost children; for all "Adult
Children of" . . .
So part of any healing journey is to reconnect with that child inside: the inner
child. And although healing occurs in all those who actively engage in that journey -
there will always be remnants and memories.
Dysfunction too often is generational: it is passed on from one generation to
another. The only way to change it is to break that cycle. The best way to do so is
to begin one's own recovery and healing, and then focus on children in one's life.
This cannot be emphasized too much.
Childhood and youth is where it began for almost all lost children; for all "Adult
Children of" . . .
So part of any healing journey is to reconnect with that child inside: the inner
child. And although healing occurs in all those who actively engage in that journey -
there will always be remnants and memories.
Dysfunction too often is generational: it is passed on from one generation to
another. The only way to change it is to break that cycle. The best way to do so is
to begin one's own recovery and healing, and then focus on children in one's life.
This cannot be emphasized too much.
| Can Adult Children recover and heal and lead creative, functional lives? Yes, they can - and they do! One young lady I know, who despite having some dark days, writes excellent poetry. You can find it on her blog site - click HERE Also see - Survivors Podium on this site, with brief stories from those who succeeded. Please consider sharing your story |
| If you are ready to make the change / transition to begin your healing journey, we can help. For more information see Help - to contact us see Contact-Us Please call, write or email without obligation (and strictly confidential) |
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| ~Explorations In Awareness~ -Demystifying & Detoxifying the Mind to combat Alienation and Dysfunction- Please visit and add your voice. |
Parental Alienation is a form
of child abuse. Help stop it.
Click HERE
of child abuse. Help stop it.
Click HERE
NOTE: This page, like most pages on the site, describes and explains behaviours and circumstances.
They can bring understanding, and while understanding by itself does not necessarily bring recovery:
it can bring a sense of relief.
Understanding is only the first step - it is not the recovery process itself!
The information on this page describes an 'extreme' of behaviour. Very few people ever display all of
them. Some of the behaviours listed here are actually ‘normal’ responses to certain events and
situations. These reactions usually subside and lose their power to disrupt life or create and maintain
chaos. However, when a person is deeply wounded they linger and contribute to dysfunction.
They can bring understanding, and while understanding by itself does not necessarily bring recovery:
it can bring a sense of relief.
Understanding is only the first step - it is not the recovery process itself!
The information on this page describes an 'extreme' of behaviour. Very few people ever display all of
them. Some of the behaviours listed here are actually ‘normal’ responses to certain events and
situations. These reactions usually subside and lose their power to disrupt life or create and maintain
chaos. However, when a person is deeply wounded they linger and contribute to dysfunction.
