GRIEF and GRIEVING Follow Definite Stages: it is a process.
There are various sources of Grief. Whether your bereavement is due to a death of a beloved
person, a pet, a friend, or because of divorce or separation, or moving away from a place, the
grieving process is basically the same.
If you're grieving, you might be having trouble concentrating, sleeping, eating, or feeling
interested in the things you usually enjoy. You might be trying to act like you feel OK (even if
you don't).
You may wonder if you will ever get over losing someone who means so much to you. Grief can,
and often does, cause some people to feel guilty. These feelings and reactions are a normal part
of the grieving process.
Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone important to you: it is the emotion people
feel when they experience a loss. Grief is also the name for the healing process that a person
goes through after someone close has died.
It is a very similar process for those experiencing a separation or divorce.
Although everyone experiences grief when they lose someone, grieving affects people in
different ways. How it affects you partly depends on your situation and relationship with the
person who died.
There are various sources of Grief. Whether your bereavement is due to a death of a beloved
person, a pet, a friend, or because of divorce or separation, or moving away from a place, the
grieving process is basically the same.
If you're grieving, you might be having trouble concentrating, sleeping, eating, or feeling
interested in the things you usually enjoy. You might be trying to act like you feel OK (even if
you don't).
You may wonder if you will ever get over losing someone who means so much to you. Grief can,
and often does, cause some people to feel guilty. These feelings and reactions are a normal part
of the grieving process.
Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone important to you: it is the emotion people
feel when they experience a loss. Grief is also the name for the healing process that a person
goes through after someone close has died.
It is a very similar process for those experiencing a separation or divorce.
Although everyone experiences grief when they lose someone, grieving affects people in
different ways. How it affects you partly depends on your situation and relationship with the
person who died.
The grieving process is very personal and individual - each person goes through his or her grief
differently: grief is a very personal journey. Each of us grieve in different ways. Some of us
proceed quickly through our bereavement tasks. Others need longer.
It may feel impossible to recover after losing someone you love. But grief does get gradually
better and become less intense as time goes by. There are many different types of loss, and not
all of them are related to death
Different Kinds of Loss
Feelings of loss are very personal and only you know what is significant to you. Examples include:
Death of a partner Death of a colleague/classmate – roommate
Loss of a close friend Death of a parent, child, sibling or relative
Relationship breakup
Subtle or less obvious losses can also cause strong feelings of grief, even though those around
you may not know the extent of your feelings. Some examples include:
Sudden versus Predictable Loss
Sudden or shocking losses--due to events like crimes, accidents, or suicide--can be traumatic.
There is no way to prepare.
Predictable losses--like those due to terminal illness--
sometimes allow more time to prepare for the loss.
differently: grief is a very personal journey. Each of us grieve in different ways. Some of us
proceed quickly through our bereavement tasks. Others need longer.
It may feel impossible to recover after losing someone you love. But grief does get gradually
better and become less intense as time goes by. There are many different types of loss, and not
all of them are related to death
Different Kinds of Loss
Feelings of loss are very personal and only you know what is significant to you. Examples include:
Death of a partner Death of a colleague/classmate – roommate
Loss of a close friend Death of a parent, child, sibling or relative
Relationship breakup
Subtle or less obvious losses can also cause strong feelings of grief, even though those around
you may not know the extent of your feelings. Some examples include:
- Loss of health through illness Loss of mental ability
- Death of a pet Change of job
- Move to a new home Graduation from school
- Loss of a physical ability Loss of financial security
- Leaving home Divorce-separation
Sudden versus Predictable Loss
Sudden or shocking losses--due to events like crimes, accidents, or suicide--can be traumatic.
There is no way to prepare.
Predictable losses--like those due to terminal illness--
sometimes allow more time to prepare for the loss.
Normal Grief Reactions
When experiencing grief, it is common to feel:
When experiencing grief, it is common to feel:
- like you are "going crazy" unable to focus or concentrate
- irritable or angry (at the deceased, oneself, others, partner, higher powers)
- frustrated or misunderstood anxious, nervous, or fearful
- like you want to "escape" guilt or remorse
- ambivalence numbness
| To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to sow; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war; and a time of peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (Attributed to King Solomon) |
During the times of grief we all need extra support - you may find something helpful to
carry you through the day, or through such times by visiting our Daily Morale Boosters
Page.
There is also Grief Work which is covered fully in the Grief Seminar.
Reading, "Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep", "A Child Loaned", "For A Reason",
"Miss Me, But Let Me Go", to be helpful: also Divorce-Healing.
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada
(2009)
carry you through the day, or through such times by visiting our Daily Morale Boosters
Page.
There is also Grief Work which is covered fully in the Grief Seminar.
Reading, "Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep", "A Child Loaned", "For A Reason",
"Miss Me, But Let Me Go", to be helpful: also Divorce-Healing.
- NOTE: If you, or someone you know, is having difficulty with your/their
bereavement, loss, separation or divorce, and you desire help: online - Distance
Counselling Works (see Counselling) for more detail (also Contact-Us): no risk -
no obligation: or email: outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
Klaas Tuinman MA
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, (Yarmouth County) Nova Scotia, Canada
(2009)
List I List II
Which List Is Right? Both. Each is descriptive of some of the emotions and functions we go through
when we lose a loved one. Grief, like so many other things in our complex lives, can't be reduced to a
neat list with absolute definitions, time-lines, strategies, goals, and completion dates. Would that it
were so easy
Remember that the grief process is not linear, but is more often experienced in cycles. Grief is
sometimes compared to climbing a spiral staircase where things can look and feel like you are just
going in circles, yet you are actually making progress.
Grief is as individual as those of us who feel it, and as varied as the circumstances of death which
occur.
No matter how you choose to grieve, there's no one right way to do it. The grieving process is a
gradual one that lasts longer for some people than others. There may be times when you worry that
you'll never enjoy life the same way again, but this is a natural reaction after a loss.
How do you know if your grief has been going on too long? Well-meaning friends and family might tell
a grieving person they need to "move on" after a loss. Unfortunately, makes people think they're
grieving wrong or too long, or that they're not normal. Every person takes his or her own time to heal
after a loss.
The way someone grieves a particular loss and the time it takes is very individual. We might even end
up being confused about when we should be done grieving. Actually, we'll probably never be done,
because there is no completion date to grieving... let your emotions flow through the stages of grief.
- denial, Shock and numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation)
- anger,
- bargaining, Yearning and searching (intensely painful feelings of loss)
- depression and Disorganization and despair
- acceptance Reorganization (re-entry into a more 'normal' social life.)
Which List Is Right? Both. Each is descriptive of some of the emotions and functions we go through
when we lose a loved one. Grief, like so many other things in our complex lives, can't be reduced to a
neat list with absolute definitions, time-lines, strategies, goals, and completion dates. Would that it
were so easy
Remember that the grief process is not linear, but is more often experienced in cycles. Grief is
sometimes compared to climbing a spiral staircase where things can look and feel like you are just
going in circles, yet you are actually making progress.
Grief is as individual as those of us who feel it, and as varied as the circumstances of death which
occur.
No matter how you choose to grieve, there's no one right way to do it. The grieving process is a
gradual one that lasts longer for some people than others. There may be times when you worry that
you'll never enjoy life the same way again, but this is a natural reaction after a loss.
How do you know if your grief has been going on too long? Well-meaning friends and family might tell
a grieving person they need to "move on" after a loss. Unfortunately, makes people think they're
grieving wrong or too long, or that they're not normal. Every person takes his or her own time to heal
after a loss.
The way someone grieves a particular loss and the time it takes is very individual. We might even end
up being confused about when we should be done grieving. Actually, we'll probably never be done,
because there is no completion date to grieving... let your emotions flow through the stages of grief.
Taken from the book How Can I Help? Reaching out to Someone Who is Grieving by June Cerza Kolf. |
No matter how deep your sorrow, you are not alone. Others have been there and will help share your load if you will let them. |
Bereavement, Death, Divorce and other loss
Grief and Grieving: Stages/Process of Grief & Grieving/Bereavement
Only the Wounded Heal; Only the Separated Reconcile
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| Adult Child - Survivor Resource Section |
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR LIFE SITUATION
Let us help you find long-term resolution for
your problems - and assist you in your Emotional,
Mental and Spiritual Healing.
Email, Call or write - Today!
Let us help you find long-term resolution for
your problems - and assist you in your Emotional,
Mental and Spiritual Healing.
Email, Call or write - Today!
| Only the Wounded Heal; Only the Separated Reconcile |
| Follow-up and Support Counseling to Seminars & Workshops Dawn Cove Abbey Empowerment Outreach is a registered (not for profit) business in the province of Nova Scotia, Canada |
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| If you are ready to make the change / transition to seriously begin your healing journey, please call, write or email without obligation (and strictly confidential) We can help: to contact us, please see Contact-Us _____________________________________________________________________ |
To round it all out, Dawn Cove Abbey provides personal guidance for growth, healing and
empowerment through personal life coaching/counselling, as well as the many information
files that exist on this website - the information is free and available to all.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings awakening
and healing to you.
empowerment through personal life coaching/counselling, as well as the many information
files that exist on this website - the information is free and available to all.
I sincerely hope that you take the Less Travelled Road and that it brings awakening
and healing to you.
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