Jealousy refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that occur when a person believes an important, and valued relationship, is
being threatened by someone else – a “rival”.
Jealousy is very "corrosive" - it "eats you up".
There are a number of individual differences that influence the expression of jealousy. Cultural beliefs and values play an important
role in determining what triggers jealousy and what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy. The other is insecurity and
lack of self-confidence (see below).
Whatever the causes are, almost everyone is familiar with jealousy. Despite its familiarity, however, people define jealousy in
different ways. Some even mislabel it as being protective of something or someone, when the fact is, it's really simply possessive
jealousy itself. Many people feel they don't have effective strategies for coping with this form of jealousy.
The word "jealousy" is also frequently used to describe what is more properly envy, fixation on what someone else has.
If jealousy is an issue in your life: perhaps in your relationship or marriage, or even friendships, then you already know that jealous
feelings and jealousy can be frustrating, annoying, painful and even embarrassing.
being threatened by someone else – a “rival”.
Jealousy is very "corrosive" - it "eats you up".
There are a number of individual differences that influence the expression of jealousy. Cultural beliefs and values play an important
role in determining what triggers jealousy and what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy. The other is insecurity and
lack of self-confidence (see below).
Whatever the causes are, almost everyone is familiar with jealousy. Despite its familiarity, however, people define jealousy in
different ways. Some even mislabel it as being protective of something or someone, when the fact is, it's really simply possessive
jealousy itself. Many people feel they don't have effective strategies for coping with this form of jealousy.
The word "jealousy" is also frequently used to describe what is more properly envy, fixation on what someone else has.
If jealousy is an issue in your life: perhaps in your relationship or marriage, or even friendships, then you already know that jealous
feelings and jealousy can be frustrating, annoying, painful and even embarrassing.
And we all know that, if left unchecked, jealous feelings and jealousy can single-handedly destroy an otherwise good or even great
relationship, or friendship.
Most people dealing with jealousy think they are doomed to live with it forever. We can understand why you might think that way.
The reality is that we know you can stop the jealousy.
What is jealousy? Four our purposes, we see it as something that causes someone to be doubtful of their partner and feel threatened
by their interaction with certain people, the clothes they wear, or the places they go.
Two types of jealousy:
"Cute" jealousy
Jealousy: it's normal for men to be suspicious of their women (and vice versa). Having reservations about her going to a strip bar
with friends or not enjoying the sight of her drooling over some guy in a magazine are innocent examples of how some jealousy can
be harmless, and a perfectly normal reaction.
Obsessive jealousy
The problem arises when aggression and/or violence accompanies the jealousy. Once you've reached this stage, you obsessively begin
questioning his/her loyalty to you, and that sends you into a rage, maybe even using physical force.
relationship, or friendship.
Most people dealing with jealousy think they are doomed to live with it forever. We can understand why you might think that way.
The reality is that we know you can stop the jealousy.
What is jealousy? Four our purposes, we see it as something that causes someone to be doubtful of their partner and feel threatened
by their interaction with certain people, the clothes they wear, or the places they go.
Two types of jealousy:
"Cute" jealousy
Jealousy: it's normal for men to be suspicious of their women (and vice versa). Having reservations about her going to a strip bar
with friends or not enjoying the sight of her drooling over some guy in a magazine are innocent examples of how some jealousy can
be harmless, and a perfectly normal reaction.
Obsessive jealousy
The problem arises when aggression and/or violence accompanies the jealousy. Once you've reached this stage, you obsessively begin
questioning his/her loyalty to you, and that sends you into a rage, maybe even using physical force.
You inherit an extremely low tolerance level and, before long, she/he is unable to even look at another guy/woman or leave your side
when you're both out. You demand to know where he/she is at all times and the mere mention of another guy's/woman’s name sends
you off the deep end.
The source of jealousy
You may have acquired this behaviour through past experiences with boy/girlfriends. If you have already been cheated on, this may
cause you to be more possessive and controlling of her/him for fear of repetition.
Even if he/she's never given you any reason to doubt her/him, you become increasingly desperate to hold on to the relationship and
want to avoid potentially hazardous situations at all costs.
Similarly, you may be the one who's been unfaithful in the past, and, in a shameful attempt to not have the tables turn on you, you
want to ensure that you are the sole object of her/his desire.
when you're both out. You demand to know where he/she is at all times and the mere mention of another guy's/woman’s name sends
you off the deep end.
The source of jealousy
You may have acquired this behaviour through past experiences with boy/girlfriends. If you have already been cheated on, this may
cause you to be more possessive and controlling of her/him for fear of repetition.
Even if he/she's never given you any reason to doubt her/him, you become increasingly desperate to hold on to the relationship and
want to avoid potentially hazardous situations at all costs.
Similarly, you may be the one who's been unfaithful in the past, and, in a shameful attempt to not have the tables turn on you, you
want to ensure that you are the sole object of her/his desire.
Self-worth and Self-confidence: Mostly, jealousy is a by-product of one's own issues with self-confidence and self-esteem. You
may feel that you're not good enough for her/him and that you're together by fluke. Most other guys/girls seem better looking to you
and you feel threatened by that.
Jealousy, for those who can't control it, is detrimental to a relationship because it eats away at the one thing that holds it together:
Trust.
Jealousy also takes away from your quality time together as it would undoubtedly lead to numerous fights whereby you only focus
on each other's negative qualities.
Worse, you end up spending the bulk of your day foolishly thinking up scenarios in which he/she may cheat on you. Before you
know it, the greater part of your relationship will be spent on what could be happening rather than what is happening.
Jealousy will be harder to control as the relationship progresses, so if yours is reaching dangerously high levels, it's time to get help
as soon as possible.
Remember that trust is the foundation of any relationship, and you shouldn't let your insecurities destroy yours. More importantly,
show the lady/guy the same respect you would want her/him to show you. If you can do as you please, then so can she/he.
Five Points Of overcoming Jealousy In Relationships
1- Learn from past experiences
2- Deal with reality
3- Respect yourself
4- Get a third party's opinion
5- Set some rules early on
Overcome Jealousy and Build More Trust Now - Before Jealousy Ruins Your Relationship or Marriage. Help is available here.
may feel that you're not good enough for her/him and that you're together by fluke. Most other guys/girls seem better looking to you
and you feel threatened by that.
Jealousy, for those who can't control it, is detrimental to a relationship because it eats away at the one thing that holds it together:
Trust.
Jealousy also takes away from your quality time together as it would undoubtedly lead to numerous fights whereby you only focus
on each other's negative qualities.
Worse, you end up spending the bulk of your day foolishly thinking up scenarios in which he/she may cheat on you. Before you
know it, the greater part of your relationship will be spent on what could be happening rather than what is happening.
Jealousy will be harder to control as the relationship progresses, so if yours is reaching dangerously high levels, it's time to get help
as soon as possible.
Remember that trust is the foundation of any relationship, and you shouldn't let your insecurities destroy yours. More importantly,
show the lady/guy the same respect you would want her/him to show you. If you can do as you please, then so can she/he.
Five Points Of overcoming Jealousy In Relationships
1- Learn from past experiences
2- Deal with reality
3- Respect yourself
4- Get a third party's opinion
5- Set some rules early on
Overcome Jealousy and Build More Trust Now - Before Jealousy Ruins Your Relationship or Marriage. Help is available here.
Jealousy: the Corrosive Insecurity Emotion
| Dawn Cove Abbey Empowerment Outreach - New Beginning Online Information Resources, and other supports for Individuals, Couples and Families LIFE COUNSELING / COACHING / COUNSELLING and CONSULTING: HEALING YOUR WOUNDED INNER LOST CHILD |
Healing & Empowerment: Counselling - Life
Coaching, Seminars, Workshops & Retreats
Coaching, Seminars, Workshops & Retreats
| When life hurts - there is immediate help for long term hope |
Only the Wounded Heal; Only the Separated Reconcile
Klaas Tuinman M.A.
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, Nova Scotia
2008
Dawn Cove Abbey
Deerfield, Nova Scotia
2008
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |