Music: Almost A Whisper - Yanni
If you want to be a good person, ask yourself some questions.
For example, are you willing to stoop down and consider the
needs and the desires of little children;
to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old;
to stop asking how much your friends love you,
and ask yourself whether you love them enough;
to bear in mind the things that those who live in the same house with you
really want, without waiting for them to tell you;
to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke,
and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you;
to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden
for your kingly thoughts, with the gate open? ~Henry Van Dyke.
For example, are you willing to stoop down and consider the
needs and the desires of little children;
to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old;
to stop asking how much your friends love you,
and ask yourself whether you love them enough;
to bear in mind the things that those who live in the same house with you
really want, without waiting for them to tell you;
to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke,
and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you;
to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden
for your kingly thoughts, with the gate open? ~Henry Van Dyke.
| Dawn Cove Abbey - Ducks In Pond - April 2007 |
The Awakening: Part 3 (of 4) – continued.
To read Part 2 again, click HERE
To start from the top - (Part 1), click HERE
To read Part 2 again, click HERE
To start from the top - (Part 1), click HERE
You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not
what is running inside you. -Rwandan Proverb
what is running inside you. -Rwandan Proverb
You learn that the only cross to bear
is the one you choose to carry
and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake;
and that continuing to obey the toxic
“don't trust, don't feel, don't touch, don't talk” rules
doesn’t give you freedom;
instead it leaves you estranged from yourself;
others; the universe. . .
wounded..... victimized . . . but awakening. . .
moving in a different direction. . . .
no longer fully estranged;
no longer fully victim. . . .
Then you learn to distinguish between guilt,
and responsibility and ownership;
and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to Say NO
- to yourself, as well as to others.
You learn that you don’t know all the answers;
that it’s not your job to save the world
and that sometimes you just need to Let Go. . . of trying to fix it all
And you learn that trying to make the most of a bad decision
doesn’t make the decision good;
that what you desired will not be achieved;
that there is no moving ahead until it’s changed;
a bad choice remains a bad choice until then . . .
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are
and not as you want them to be
and you are careful not to project
your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be,
more beautiful/handsome,
more intelligent, or witty
more lovable or important
because of the man/woman on your arm,
or the child that bears your name.
You learn that just as people grow and change,
so it is with love and relationships
and that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to,
and that you can’t always love them as they would want you to.
You slowly realize that during the time you were estranged from yourself,
- which was sprinkled with some bad choices. . .
you finally got what you wanted. . .
– that how it went became the stumbling block and painful strain;
with it's unexpected challenges, hurts and miscommunication;
and all that needs is to change the how
– not the what. . .
And you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given.
And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand
that someone live their life, or sacrifice their dreams
just to serve your needs,
ease your insecurities,
or meet “your” standards and expectations.
You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving
is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations.
And you learn what it means to love.
So you stop trying to control people,
situations, and outcomes.
And you learn that “bad-for-you” decisions are seldom final;
and that you can step into the same river twice;
that only the water has changed:
And you can go back, for you learned not to
burn all your bridges, or close all the doors.
And that not all love,
being cared for;
being loved - and seen for who you really are;
or being “wanted” as the full person they saw you as. . .
- is bondage.
That finding “common ground”, “meeting in the middle” (compromise)
is not giving yourself up; and rather than stifle you,
it enriches and edifies you.
You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely”
(for you can feel “lonely” while surrounded by a crowd of people. . . )
and you begin to discover the joy
of spending time with yourself and on yourself.
Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know: Self Love.
And so, it comes to pass that through understanding
your heart heals;
and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations,
remembering the lesson of non-affirming people,
for you’ve learned that those who can’t see it for themselves,
can’t see it for you - and will hold and drag you back;
That those who don’t respect themselves, don’t respect you, your achievements,
your hopes & dreams, your abilities;
that they twist everything good and decent into something negative and dirty;
that at the first true challenge, like cowards and quitters, faced with
a choice to “talk” or “walk”, they quietly slink off the common stage
of life they shared with you and others,
and you were becoming like them; but now you are no longer tempted to treat
them as they treated you;
for you have come to realize that retaliation
lowers your character, and demeans your spirit;
that you are awakening;
and your estrangement is coming to an end. . .
End of Part 3 (of 4) - click following for [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 4]
is the one you choose to carry
and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake;
and that continuing to obey the toxic
“don't trust, don't feel, don't touch, don't talk” rules
doesn’t give you freedom;
instead it leaves you estranged from yourself;
others; the universe. . .
wounded..... victimized . . . but awakening. . .
moving in a different direction. . . .
no longer fully estranged;
no longer fully victim. . . .
Then you learn to distinguish between guilt,
and responsibility and ownership;
and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to Say NO
- to yourself, as well as to others.
You learn that you don’t know all the answers;
that it’s not your job to save the world
and that sometimes you just need to Let Go. . . of trying to fix it all
And you learn that trying to make the most of a bad decision
doesn’t make the decision good;
that what you desired will not be achieved;
that there is no moving ahead until it’s changed;
a bad choice remains a bad choice until then . . .
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are
and not as you want them to be
and you are careful not to project
your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be,
more beautiful/handsome,
more intelligent, or witty
more lovable or important
because of the man/woman on your arm,
or the child that bears your name.
You learn that just as people grow and change,
so it is with love and relationships
and that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to,
and that you can’t always love them as they would want you to.
You slowly realize that during the time you were estranged from yourself,
- which was sprinkled with some bad choices. . .
you finally got what you wanted. . .
– that how it went became the stumbling block and painful strain;
with it's unexpected challenges, hurts and miscommunication;
and all that needs is to change the how
– not the what. . .
And you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given.
And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand
that someone live their life, or sacrifice their dreams
just to serve your needs,
ease your insecurities,
or meet “your” standards and expectations.
You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving
is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations.
And you learn what it means to love.
So you stop trying to control people,
situations, and outcomes.
And you learn that “bad-for-you” decisions are seldom final;
and that you can step into the same river twice;
that only the water has changed:
And you can go back, for you learned not to
burn all your bridges, or close all the doors.
And that not all love,
being cared for;
being loved - and seen for who you really are;
or being “wanted” as the full person they saw you as. . .
- is bondage.
That finding “common ground”, “meeting in the middle” (compromise)
is not giving yourself up; and rather than stifle you,
it enriches and edifies you.
You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely”
(for you can feel “lonely” while surrounded by a crowd of people. . . )
and you begin to discover the joy
of spending time with yourself and on yourself.
Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know: Self Love.
And so, it comes to pass that through understanding
your heart heals;
and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations,
remembering the lesson of non-affirming people,
for you’ve learned that those who can’t see it for themselves,
can’t see it for you - and will hold and drag you back;
That those who don’t respect themselves, don’t respect you, your achievements,
your hopes & dreams, your abilities;
that they twist everything good and decent into something negative and dirty;
that at the first true challenge, like cowards and quitters, faced with
a choice to “talk” or “walk”, they quietly slink off the common stage
of life they shared with you and others,
and you were becoming like them; but now you are no longer tempted to treat
them as they treated you;
for you have come to realize that retaliation
lowers your character, and demeans your spirit;
that you are awakening;
and your estrangement is coming to an end. . .
End of Part 3 (of 4) - click following for [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 4]
To submit comments, requests or materials,
contact me at outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
contact me at outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
For empowerment workshops, seminars and lectures, see: http://www.dawncoveabbey.org/healing-circle
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MorningStar Inspiration from Dawn Cove Abbey
Article, haiku, humour and poem contributions are welcomed, and gratefully received
Layout & Design by DawnStar
_________________________________________________
MorningStar Inspiration from Dawn Cove Abbey
Article, haiku, humour and poem contributions are welcomed, and gratefully received
Layout & Design by DawnStar
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