I thought I’ve always taken the road less travelled.

                    I guess I did make myself believe that for quite some time.
                            Now I have no qualms admitting to myself
                                    that I only thought I did.

                                    From the start of the journey,
                                            I had one foot out the door I guess.

                                            I was taking one step forward,
                                                    and two steps back each time.
2


Just like that saying goes,
I built a wall around me
to see if anyone cared enough
to try and break it down.
       But I’d only been playing a game;
               because I told myself I didn’t
really want anyone to care,
               so I threatened to lay an assault charge.
                       A game: stupid and mean – with two people hurt.
                              Someone cared enough to risk getting hurt,
                              Yet I, like it is also said,
                              I pushed away the thing I want the most
                                       And deep down I didn’t want that game;
                                       I wanted someone to care.
                                               For a moment my heart did grow wings
                                               - I saw hope – and then the fear struck
                                               and in panic I lashed out.
                                                       Yet, I want to change.
                                                               Will anyone believe me now?
                                                                       Will someone reach out
                                                                               and risk again?
3


                                                            The universe is just conspiring
                                                            to show me
                                                            what a fool I’ve made of myself.


                                                    Lately, so many circumstances
                                            have pointed out the fact that having the guts
                                    to do things is not really enough.

                            What I need is to have the guts
                            to do things that matter the most to me.

                    It’s not enough to fight for something -
            that you don’t know the reason why you are fighting
    for it in the first place.


Same as going after something/someone without a thought as to
why you’re going through all the trouble for it in the first place.


Sometimes, going after someone/something
without knowing why you should
is so pointless.
It’s just wasting time,
    a luxury that you don’t have.

    What if you’re going after something so hard for
    and then one day you just realize after getting it
            that it’s not what you wanted all along.
                    You don’t even know what the fuss was all about in the first place.



                                    And you’ve known deep down
                                    what you wanted since the very beginning
                            but you were too scared
                            to go after it so you went after something else
                    to play it safe
            because if and when you failed,
    it wouldn’t sting half as much.


So all along you kidded yourself into thinking
you were taking the road less travelled,
taking big risks,
diving headfirst,
free-falling into the unknown.


But all along, you played it safe.
    You took the wrong risks
    and felt giddy with the fake highs.
            And how dumb was that?


            I want no more of that.
                    This time around I’m going out bare-naked.
                            Stop wasting away by chasing after the wind.

                                    I’m now going for the gold.
                                    I won’t pretend I’m not scared out of my wits.

                                            Eyes are going to roll,
                                                    tongues are going to wag.

                                                            On top of that
                                                            I’d finally be giving myself a second chance
                                                    at something I shied away from years ago
                                            because I didn’t want to fail
                                    at the one thing I knew I was born to do.


                    No pressure, right? Ha!

    So there.
I’ve just recently taken one baby step towards that.

I just hope and pray I won’t take two giant steps backward.
    I’m going after that dream and
            finally taking
the road less travelled. 2
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.
1
Baggage: everyone’s got some
– that’s not the problem:
it’s whether you control and heal it,
or it whether it controls
    and destroys you.

You can at any time reinvent yourself
You can learn new things at any time in your life,
For you can undo core irrational beliefs. . .
and drop the '
stinkin’ thinkin
(change your head – change your life),
and . . . a whole new world opens up to you.
    And be free.
Related article: The Awakening
Also see: Hold on to the important things in life
                            In the story of your life
                    may you write the very best book
                                      you can.


                            Have pages on understanding,
                                            and tales
                               of overcoming hardships,


                            fill your story with romance,
                                    adventure, poetry
                                            and laughter.

                                            Make each chapter reflect time well spent.
5
_________________________________________
Acknowledgements:
[1] -Robert Frost
[2] -The Road Less Travelled
~Written by a woman who has chosen to stay Anonymous~
[3] ~Anne M.
[4] ~Unknown
[5] ~Unknown
Media: Blow The Wind Southerly
ChangeRoad
_______________________________________________________
A MorningStar Inspiration from Dawn Cove Abbey
Roadside assistance for your Journey through Life
_______________________________________________________
For prayer requests and more, visit our sister site Stella Maris,
- a place where truth and beauty dwells: or write for information.
To submit comments, requests or materials,
contact me at
klaas-tuinman@live.ca
I gladly welcome all article, haiku, humour and poem contributions

For empowerment workshops and seminars see: http://www.dawncoveabbey.org/healing-circle
~Explorations In Awareness~           
-Demystifying & Detoxifying the Mind
to combat Alienation and Dysfunction-

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