“What Women REALLY Mean When They Talk About Men”
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORDS AND THE REAL WORLD... Part I
A "behind the scenes" perspective of the female mind that most men never see or realize.
A man’s (not me KT) attempt at explaining the difference in communication styles between women and men.
“fools rush in where angels fear to tread”
When a woman says things like:
"I want a guy who is sensitive."
"I want a guy who's in touch with his feelings."
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
"I want a guy who is strong."
"I want a guy who is sexy."
Or - - - "I want a real man."
Most men have had no idea what they were talking about,
because even though these things don't always make sense to us guys,
they make perfect sense to women.
You learn that when a woman says one of these things,
she actually means something that is different from what
a guy would mean if he said the same words.
If a guy says "I'm going to stay home and relax today",
he probably means that he's going to stay home,
watch some sports, drink a beer, cruise the internet, and order a pizza.
If a woman says that she's going to stay home and relax,
she's probably not going to watch some sports,
drink a beer, cruise the internet, and order a pizza.
Women are different from men.
And the words they use often don't mean
what they sound like they mean.
So, the first thing that you have to get through your head is
that just because a woman says something to you,
doesn't mean that it means what you think it means.
THE BIG SECRET SHE ISN'T TELLING YOU!
. . . a little secret that women never happen to mention
when they're describing what they want in a man. . .
and this little secret is causing men a lot of trouble.
The “secret” is that women only want the things that they're asking for
from a guy who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention.
Translation: if a woman says, "I want a man who is a good communicator",
what she really means is:
"I want a guy who already has his life together, is interesting, unpredictable,
dominant, funny, healthy, charismatic, confident, and loyal...
who is also a good communicator."
The reality is that when a woman says one of these "I want a guy who"
statements, she actually has a kind of ideal guy in mind,
who also happens to be a good communicator.
She's not imagining Homer Simpson sitting on his couch reading a book on communication.
The reality of this situation is that what women really want is a man
who makes them feel the emotional and physical response that’s called “attraction”.
They want a man who makes them feel it.
But, many women either can't describe the things that actually make her feel attraction,
or they don't want to have to describe them,
because they want a man who already is those things...
without having to learn them.
Think about it.
They don't want a guy that they have to teach from scratch (“train”).
If you don't already have the universal foundation of what appeals to women,
then no amount of changing and improving things,
like your communication and sensitivity, is going to help you.
WHAT IS A REAL MAN?
You hear both women and men using the term.
But what does it actually mean?
And is it important? Yes - - it is a very important topic.
When a woman talks about a real man –
she’s talking about the "ideal" she imagines when she’s saying, "I want a guy who is sensitive".
They're thinking of the real man, and then they're imagining him also being sensitive.
There are a lot of important aspects to this real man:
-Status
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-A Challenge
It's actually not easy to describe a real man in a few sentences...
but a woman can recognize one instantly.
THE MISTAKE MEN MAKE is taking something that a woman says that she wants,
and doing it too much, thinking that if
"A little bit is good, then more must be better".
For example: a woman says that she likes guys who are "thoughtful".
So you go out and buy her a bunch of gifts, give her cute cards every time you see her,
and call her all the time to tell her that you miss her.
What happens? She drops you for some jerk.
Huh?
Simple - this would be kind of like a woman saying, "My favorite food is chocolate"
and then you thinking it would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal just because it's her favorite...
or adding chocolate to every single dish you make for her from now on...
and forgetting that 97% of what she eats still needs to be other foods.
Let’s land the plane . . . .
Women don't mean what you think they mean when they talk about what they want in a man.
If you take the things women say too literally, you're going to wind up shooting yourself in the foot. You need
to understand the difference between men talking and women talking. Hold on for the landing; here's an
example . . .
Two women talking:
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I Mean, you don't think it's too
fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I would love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm
pretty much stuck with this stuff I think!
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts -
that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my
long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these
football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on
you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so
much easier.
. . .
Now, two men are talking:
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.
Are you with me? I’m trying to taxi the plane as easy as I can, hang on.
Almost no-one would disagree that men and women are different –
how different is still undefined for most people.
Many books etc are one-sided and reinforce mistrust
and resentment toward the opposite gender.
One gender is generally viewed as being victimized by
the other – or one “demonizes” the other. . .
through misunderstanding du to communication (words).
. . . . . more follows . . . .
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORDS AND THE REAL WORLD... Part I
A "behind the scenes" perspective of the female mind that most men never see or realize.
A man’s (not me KT) attempt at explaining the difference in communication styles between women and men.
“fools rush in where angels fear to tread”
When a woman says things like:
"I want a guy who is sensitive."
"I want a guy who's in touch with his feelings."
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
"I want a guy who is strong."
"I want a guy who is sexy."
Or - - - "I want a real man."
Most men have had no idea what they were talking about,
because even though these things don't always make sense to us guys,
they make perfect sense to women.
You learn that when a woman says one of these things,
she actually means something that is different from what
a guy would mean if he said the same words.
If a guy says "I'm going to stay home and relax today",
he probably means that he's going to stay home,
watch some sports, drink a beer, cruise the internet, and order a pizza.
If a woman says that she's going to stay home and relax,
she's probably not going to watch some sports,
drink a beer, cruise the internet, and order a pizza.
Women are different from men.
And the words they use often don't mean
what they sound like they mean.
So, the first thing that you have to get through your head is
that just because a woman says something to you,
doesn't mean that it means what you think it means.
THE BIG SECRET SHE ISN'T TELLING YOU!
. . . a little secret that women never happen to mention
when they're describing what they want in a man. . .
and this little secret is causing men a lot of trouble.
The “secret” is that women only want the things that they're asking for
from a guy who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention.
Translation: if a woman says, "I want a man who is a good communicator",
what she really means is:
"I want a guy who already has his life together, is interesting, unpredictable,
dominant, funny, healthy, charismatic, confident, and loyal...
who is also a good communicator."
The reality is that when a woman says one of these "I want a guy who"
statements, she actually has a kind of ideal guy in mind,
who also happens to be a good communicator.
She's not imagining Homer Simpson sitting on his couch reading a book on communication.
The reality of this situation is that what women really want is a man
who makes them feel the emotional and physical response that’s called “attraction”.
They want a man who makes them feel it.
But, many women either can't describe the things that actually make her feel attraction,
or they don't want to have to describe them,
because they want a man who already is those things...
without having to learn them.
Think about it.
They don't want a guy that they have to teach from scratch (“train”).
If you don't already have the universal foundation of what appeals to women,
then no amount of changing and improving things,
like your communication and sensitivity, is going to help you.
WHAT IS A REAL MAN?
You hear both women and men using the term.
But what does it actually mean?
And is it important? Yes - - it is a very important topic.
When a woman talks about a real man –
she’s talking about the "ideal" she imagines when she’s saying, "I want a guy who is sensitive".
They're thinking of the real man, and then they're imagining him also being sensitive.
There are a lot of important aspects to this real man:
-Status
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-A Challenge
It's actually not easy to describe a real man in a few sentences...
but a woman can recognize one instantly.
THE MISTAKE MEN MAKE is taking something that a woman says that she wants,
and doing it too much, thinking that if
"A little bit is good, then more must be better".
For example: a woman says that she likes guys who are "thoughtful".
So you go out and buy her a bunch of gifts, give her cute cards every time you see her,
and call her all the time to tell her that you miss her.
What happens? She drops you for some jerk.
Huh?
Simple - this would be kind of like a woman saying, "My favorite food is chocolate"
and then you thinking it would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal just because it's her favorite...
or adding chocolate to every single dish you make for her from now on...
and forgetting that 97% of what she eats still needs to be other foods.
Let’s land the plane . . . .
Women don't mean what you think they mean when they talk about what they want in a man.
If you take the things women say too literally, you're going to wind up shooting yourself in the foot. You need
to understand the difference between men talking and women talking. Hold on for the landing; here's an
example . . .
Two women talking:
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I Mean, you don't think it's too
fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I would love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm
pretty much stuck with this stuff I think!
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts -
that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my
long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these
football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on
you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so
much easier.
. . .
Now, two men are talking:
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.
Are you with me? I’m trying to taxi the plane as easy as I can, hang on.
Almost no-one would disagree that men and women are different –
how different is still undefined for most people.
Many books etc are one-sided and reinforce mistrust
and resentment toward the opposite gender.
One gender is generally viewed as being victimized by
the other – or one “demonizes” the other. . .
through misunderstanding du to communication (words).
. . . . . more follows . . . .
Soundtrack: Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
.. resulting
| Purple Astilbe Dawn Cove Abbey Garden - Aug /07 |
The greatest gift you can give someone is the purity of your attention.
For balance, to read "Translating Men” again: click HERE -
MorningStar for people
To submit comments, requests or materials,
contact me at outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
contact me at outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
For empowerment workshops, seminars and lectures, see: http://www.dawncoveabbey.org/healing-circle
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MorningStar Inspiration from Dawn Cove Abbey
Article, haiku, humour and poem contributions are welcomed, and gratefully received
Layout & Design by DawnStar
__________________________________________________
MorningStar Inspiration from Dawn Cove Abbey
Article, haiku, humour and poem contributions are welcomed, and gratefully received
Layout & Design by DawnStar
__________________________________________________
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