Language . . .
has created the word "loneliness"
to express the pain of being alone.
And it has created the word "solitude"
to express the glory of being alone. 2
‘Strange’,
I thought afterwards,
‘I like being alone’,
and, indeed,
in my pursuit of a profession,
I was often alone.
As I write now,
I am alone,
but don't feel lonely.
So it occurs to me
that aloneness has two faces:
a happy face when I choose to be alone,
and have a strong internal sense of connection
to some significant purpose or person;
a sad face when I allow isolation
and/or separation
to buffet my feelings about. 3
Today's society is fast paced,
and we've become accustomed
to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff.
We turn to many distractions
as a means of escaping
feelings of idleness
or boredom.
But the main thing we wish to elude
is loneliness.
Solitude does not have to be
alienating
or lonesome.
In fact,
solitude
and loneliness
are distinctly separate.
The worst solitude
is to be destitute of sincere friendship. 4
The death of a loved one,
a breakup,
or the inability to find people
who understand you
can leave you feeling isolated.
Dictionaries describe loneliness as
"being without companions”.
It's natural to experience an emptiness
while longing for love
or acceptance.
Loneliness is an emotive state
that can be experienced
whether or not
one is physically alone. 1
In cities no one is quiet,
but many are lonely;
in the country,
people are quiet,
but few are lonely.
We tend to fill loneliness
with all types of distractions.
For example,
some single people would rather
spend a Friday night
with someone of the opposite gender
they have no genuine interest in,
than spend the night alone.
They long for a way of ‘killing time’;
while they await that someone
they are actually seeking.
Then there are young adults
who are involved in cliques
where they can't really
relate to their companions.
However, they would rather feel accepted
on a superficial level
than risk feeling outcast. 5
So what is it about being alone that scares us?
Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence.
Silence can be an amazing thing.
It teaches you how to truly listen.
It teaches you to pay attention to what's going on inside of you.
Only when we are alone,
can we have the space and peace we need
to think without being outwardly influenced.
It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions
as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.
Get in touch with yourself
so that you can make conscious decisions
rather than simply react to emotions.
Appreciate the time you have to yourself.
Let the peace and understanding you find
better equip you
for the commotion of today's world. 1
has created the word "loneliness"
to express the pain of being alone.
And it has created the word "solitude"
to express the glory of being alone. 2
‘Strange’,
I thought afterwards,
‘I like being alone’,
and, indeed,
in my pursuit of a profession,
I was often alone.
As I write now,
I am alone,
but don't feel lonely.
So it occurs to me
that aloneness has two faces:
a happy face when I choose to be alone,
and have a strong internal sense of connection
to some significant purpose or person;
a sad face when I allow isolation
and/or separation
to buffet my feelings about. 3
Today's society is fast paced,
and we've become accustomed
to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff.
We turn to many distractions
as a means of escaping
feelings of idleness
or boredom.
But the main thing we wish to elude
is loneliness.
Solitude does not have to be
alienating
or lonesome.
In fact,
solitude
and loneliness
are distinctly separate.
The worst solitude
is to be destitute of sincere friendship. 4
The death of a loved one,
a breakup,
or the inability to find people
who understand you
can leave you feeling isolated.
Dictionaries describe loneliness as
"being without companions”.
It's natural to experience an emptiness
while longing for love
or acceptance.
Loneliness is an emotive state
that can be experienced
whether or not
one is physically alone. 1
In cities no one is quiet,
but many are lonely;
in the country,
people are quiet,
but few are lonely.
We tend to fill loneliness
with all types of distractions.
For example,
some single people would rather
spend a Friday night
with someone of the opposite gender
they have no genuine interest in,
than spend the night alone.
They long for a way of ‘killing time’;
while they await that someone
they are actually seeking.
Then there are young adults
who are involved in cliques
where they can't really
relate to their companions.
However, they would rather feel accepted
on a superficial level
than risk feeling outcast. 5
So what is it about being alone that scares us?
Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence.
Silence can be an amazing thing.
It teaches you how to truly listen.
It teaches you to pay attention to what's going on inside of you.
Only when we are alone,
can we have the space and peace we need
to think without being outwardly influenced.
It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions
as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.
Get in touch with yourself
so that you can make conscious decisions
rather than simply react to emotions.
Appreciate the time you have to yourself.
Let the peace and understanding you find
better equip you
for the commotion of today's world. 1
Loneliness
and the feeling of being unwanted
is the most terrible poverty. 6
It is only when we silence
the blaring sounds of our daily existence
that we can finally hear
the whispers of truth
that life reveals to us,
as it stands knocking
on the doorsteps of our hearts. 7
and the feeling of being unwanted
is the most terrible poverty. 6
It is only when we silence
the blaring sounds of our daily existence
that we can finally hear
the whispers of truth
that life reveals to us,
as it stands knocking
on the doorsteps of our hearts. 7
Aloneness is an existential state
which each of us
must confront
through varying stages of life.
It requires a leap of faith
to embrace separateness,
which does not mean
foregoing
relatedness.
However, it does mean
giving up dependency
and a false sense of security
in favor of autonomy.
Accepting aloneness,
paradoxically,
can make you more uniquely whole. 3
I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits,
unless I spend four hours a day at least
- and it is commonly more than that -
sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields,
absolutely free from all worldly engagements. 8
There is a need to discover
that we are capable of solitary joy
and having experienced it,
know that we have touched the core of self. 9
Or are you one of the fortunate kind;
alone but not lonely?
Unflinching I'll tell you
that I'm alone but not lonely. 10
Loneliness is the poverty of self;
solitude is the richness of self. 11
Sometimes, going fishing,
has nothing to do with catching fish . . .
which each of us
must confront
through varying stages of life.
It requires a leap of faith
to embrace separateness,
which does not mean
foregoing
relatedness.
However, it does mean
giving up dependency
and a false sense of security
in favor of autonomy.
Accepting aloneness,
paradoxically,
can make you more uniquely whole. 3
I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits,
unless I spend four hours a day at least
- and it is commonly more than that -
sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields,
absolutely free from all worldly engagements. 8
There is a need to discover
that we are capable of solitary joy
and having experienced it,
know that we have touched the core of self. 9
Or are you one of the fortunate kind;
alone but not lonely?
Unflinching I'll tell you
that I'm alone but not lonely. 10
Loneliness is the poverty of self;
solitude is the richness of self. 11
Sometimes, going fishing,
has nothing to do with catching fish . . .
_____________________________________
Credits
[2] ~Paul Johannes Tillich, The Eternal Now
[3] ~Mary Lambert
[4] ~Francis Bacon
[5] ~Geoffrey F. Fisher
[6]~Mother Teresa
[7] ~K.T. Jong
[8] ~Henry David Thoreau
[9] ~Barbara Lazear Ascher
[10] ~Mary Chapin Carpenter
[11] ~May Sarton
Music: Joan Of Arc –Leonard Cohen
A Dawn Cove Abbey contribution
Layout Design and Presentation by KT+
Credits
[2] ~Paul Johannes Tillich, The Eternal Now
[3] ~Mary Lambert
[4] ~Francis Bacon
[5] ~Geoffrey F. Fisher
[6]~Mother Teresa
[7] ~K.T. Jong
[8] ~Henry David Thoreau
[9] ~Barbara Lazear Ascher
[10] ~Mary Chapin Carpenter
[11] ~May Sarton
Music: Joan Of Arc –Leonard Cohen
A Dawn Cove Abbey contribution
Layout Design and Presentation by KT+
For prayer requests and more, visit our sister site Stella Maris,
- a place where truth and beauty dwells: or write for information.
- a place where truth and beauty dwells: or write for information.
To submit comments, requests or materials,
contact me at: outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
contact me at: outreach@dawncoveabbey.org
I gladly welcome all article, haiku, humour and poem contributions
For empowerment workshops and seminars see: http://www.dawncoveabbey.org/healing-circle
For empowerment workshops and seminars see: http://www.dawncoveabbey.org/healing-circle
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